This morning, I started reading Symbol and Magic in Egyptian Art by Richard H Wilkinson. Wow, great book! I’d definitely recommend it to anyone interested in Egypt or Khemtic magic.

Though the book is really not for beginners, if your interests lie in talismanic or symbolic magic, it’s really a must-read. Wilkinson’s book is an involved dissertation on the tradition of Egyptian magical practices. The chapters are well-presented and provide excellent background for those who may wish to create charms using Egyptian symbolism. It is not a how-to guide but a scholarly look at some of the common elements of ancient Egyptian magic.

In one of my previous lives, I was an apprenticed scribe in Egypt. Though I died very young, what I have read in this book is very accurate to what I remember.

It was one of the first lives I remembered and the shortest. With only three exceptions, I recall most lives chronologically. That is, I remember them in this life close to the time at which I died in the other. I only lived to be 11 or twelve as an apprentice scribe and so it was one of the first I remembered.

Basically, I was apprenticed at a young age with several other boys to a master scribe. He was very old and infirm and we boys were expected to perform various chores for him. Every morning, one of the boys was supposed to get water from the well. To make a long story short, the boy who was scheduled to do it, didn’t. So when I realized there was no water, I went to get it instead. While I was out, I was strangled by a thief, probably for the ewer I carried since anyone would have known an apprentice scribe wouldn’t carry any money or real valuables.

No offense to any Christians (of any sect) out there, but I cannot understand what possesses people to wander door-to-door like demented salesmen selling their faith. Or standing on a street corner like some kind of prostitute, accosting people as they pass. You know, crazy people accost people on street corners too. Do you want to be associated with prostitutes and lunatics?

I think it’s the height of arrogance to assume that your religion is any better than anyone else’s. I wouldn’t go around trying to make people into pagans, so why do people knock on my door at some horrendously early hour, child in tow, trying to convert me to their way of thinking? Is it some insidious holdover from the imperialist days of Rome that causes the civilized heart to pitter-pat at the thrill of the hunt? Or is it simply that the idea of someone practicing a religion different than their own causes some subconscious fear that they may be wrong in their own faith?

I know that some sects command their poor cult followers (oops, I mean believers) to go out there and convert, convert, convert. Some make it out like it’s for the good of those poor ignorant sinners that they be instructed in the proper way of worship. I think the real reason lies in conquest, xenophobia, and a desire to make their lives simpler by reducing the number of ideas from which they may choose. And maybe their Churches just want more revenues from tithing.

My favorite phrase associated with Christianity is “god-fearing.” Kind of gets you thinking, if the Christians fear their god, there must be something wrong there, eh? I certainly don’t fear any of my gods. I’m in awe of them, sure. I respect them and am wary of offending them, but I don’t go around like a whipped puppy worrying I’m going to be punished with eternal Hell-fires if I make a wrong step. Heck, I remember ten past lives and not once do I recall ever visiting Hell (if it even exists).

Why do people feel so threatened by people with ideas other than their own? We’re all different. No two people, not even twins, agree on all counts. I enjoy a healthy exchange of ideas. I enjoy discussion on a diverse number of topics. I try to respect everyone. I wish everyone else could do the same and stay off my porch. There’s a time and place for enlightened discussion and it is not in subzero temperatures in the AM hours.

If anyone reading this is a Christian and finds my diatribe offensive… please read the following. It may be irreverent in parts, but it is very edifying. And hey all you Pagans, if you haven’t read it yet, I’m sure you’ll find it very entertaining.

“We Are the Other People”
by Oberon Zell

©1995-2001 Church of All Worlds, inc.

“Ding-dong!” goes the doorbell. Is it Avon calling? Or perhaps Ed McMahon with my three million dollars? No, it’s Yahweh’s Witlesses again, just wanting to have a nice little chat about the Bible…

Boy, did they ever come to the wrong house! So we invite them in: “Enter freely and of your own will…” (Hey, it’s Sunday morning, nothing much going on, why not have a little entertainment?) Diane and I amuse ourselves watching their expressions as they check out the living room: great horned owl on the back of my chair; ceremonial masks and medicine skulls of dragons and unicorns on the wall; crystals, wands, staffs, swords; lots of Goddess figures and several altars; boa constrictors draped in amorous embrace over the elkhorn; white doves sitting in the hanging planters; cats and weasels underfoot; iron dragon snorting steam atop the wood stove; posters and paintings of wizards and dinosaurs and witchy women, some proudly naked; sculptures of mythological beasties and lots more dinosaurs; warp six on the star-filled viewscreen of my computer; a five-foot model of the USS Enterprise and the skeleton of a plesiosaur hanging from the ceiling; very, very many books, most of them dealing with obviously weird subjects… To say nothing of the great horned owl perched on the back of my chair and the Unicorn grazing in the front yard. You know; early Addams Family decor.

And then, of course, it being late in the morning, you can expect Morning Glory to come wandering out naked, looking for her wake-up cup of tea. Morning Glory naked is a truly impressive sight, and the Witlesses look as if she’d set titties on stun as they stand immobilized, hands clasped over their genitals. With the stage set and all the actors in place, the show is ready to begin.

Their mission, of course, it to save our heathen souls by turning us on to “The Word of the Lord” – their Bible. I guess they figure some of us just haven’t heard about it yet, and we’re all eagerly awaiting their joyous tidings of personal salvation through giving our rational faculties to Jesus. Every time they come around, I look forward to trying out a new riposte. Sure, it may be cruel and sadistic of me, but hey, I didn’t call them up and ask them to come over; they entered at their own risk!

This time should be pretty good. After letting them run off their basic rap while lovely Morning Glory serves us all hot herb tea, I innocently remark: “But none of that applies to us. We have no need for salvation because we don’t have original sin. We are the Other People.”

“Hunh? What?” they reply eloquently. It’s clear they’ve never heard this one before.

“Right,” I say. “It’s all in your Bible.” And I proceed to tell them the story, using their own book for reference:

Genesis 1:26 – The [Elohim] said, “Let us make humanity in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves, and let them be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven, the cattle, all the wild beasts and all the reptiles that crawl upon the earth.”

Elohim is a plural word, including male and female, and should properly be translated “Gods” or “Pantheon.”

27 The Gods created humanity in the image of themselves, In the image of the Gods they created them, Male and Female they created them.
28 The Gods blessed them, saying to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it. Be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven and all living animals on the earth.”

Now clearly, here we are talking about the original creation of the human species: male and female. All the animals, plants, etc. have all been created in previous verses. This is before the Garden of Eden, and Yahweh is not mentioned as the creator of these people. The next chapter talks about how Yahweh, an individual member of the Pantheon, goes about assembling his own special little botanical and zoological Garden in Eden, and making his own little man to inhabit it:

Gen 2:7 – Yahweh God fashioned a man of dust from the soil. Then he breathed into his nostrils a breath of life, and thus the man became a living being.
8 Yahweh God planted a garden in Eden, which is in the east, and there he put the man he had fashioned.
9 Yahweh God caused to spring up from the soil every kind of tree, enticing to look at and good to eat, with the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the middle of the garden.
15 Yahweh God took the man and settled him in the Garden of Eden to cultivate and take care of it.

Now this next is crucial: note Yahweh’s precise words:

16 Then Yahweh God gave the man this admonition, “You may eat indeed of all the trees in the garden.
17 Nevertheless of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you are not to eat, for on the day you eat of it you shall most surely die.”

Fateful words, those. We will refer back to this admonition later.

Then Yahweh decides to make a woman to go with the man. Now, don’t forget that the Pantheon had earlier created a whole population of people, “male and female,” who are presumably doing just fine somewhere “outside the gates of Eden.” But this setup in Eden is Yahweh’s own little experiment, and will unfold to its own separate destiny.

21 So Yahweh God made the man fall into a deep sleep. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and enclosed it in flesh.
22 Yahweh God built the rib he had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man.

Right. Man gives birth to woman. Sure he does. But that’s the way the story is told here.

25 Now both of them were naked, the man and his wife, but they felt no shame in front of each other.

Well, of course not! Why should they? But take careful note of those words, as they also will prove to be significant . . .

Now this next part is where it starts to get interesting. Enter the Serpent:

Gen. 3:1 – The serpent was the most subtle of all the wild beasts that Yahweh God had made. It asked the woman, “Did God really say you were not to eat from any of the trees in the garden?”
2 The woman answered the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees in the garden.
3 “But of the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden God said, ‘You must not eat it, nor touch it, under pain of death’”
4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “No! You will not die!
5 “God knows in fact that on the day you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods, knowing good and evil.”

What a remarkable statement! “Your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods, knowing good and evil.” The Serpent directly contradicts Yahweh.

Obviously, one of them has to be lying. Which one, do you suppose? And, if the serpent speaks true, wouldn’t you wish to eat of the magic fruit? Wouldn’t it be a good thing, to become “like gods, knowing good and evil”? Or is it preferable to remain in ignorance?

6 The woman saw that the tree was good to eat and pleasing to the eye, and that it was desirable for the knowledge that it could give. So she took some of its fruit and ate it. She gave some also to her husband who was with her, and he ate it.
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they realized that they were naked. So they sewed fig leaves together to make themselves loincloths.

The author makes an interesting assumption here: that if you realize you are naked you will automatically want to cover yourself. Further implications will unfold shortly…

8 The man and his wife heard the sound of Yahweh God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from Yahweh God among the trees of the garden.
9 But Yahweh God called to the man. “Where are you?” he asked.
10 “I heard the sound of you in the garden,” he replied. “I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.”
11 “Who told you that you were naked?” he asked. “Have you been eating of the tree I forbade you to eat?”

And so the sign of the Fall becomes modesty. Take note of this. The descendants of Adam and Eve will be distinguished throughout history from virtually all other peoples by their obsessive modesty taboos, wherein they will feel ashamed of being naked. It follows that those who feel no shame in being naked are, by definition, not carriers of this spiritual disease of original sin!

12 The man replied, “It was the woman you put with me; she gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

Right. Blame the woman. What a turkey!

13 Then Yahweh God asked the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman replied, “The serpent tempted me and I ate.”

So of course she blames the serpent. But just what did the serpent do that was so evil? Why, he called Yahweh a liar! Was he wrong? Let’s see…

21 Yahweh God made clothes out of skins for the man and his wife, and they put them on.

Out of skins? This means that Yahweh had to kill some innocent animals to pander to Adam and Eve’s new obsession with modesty!

And now we come to the crux of the Fall. Yahweh had said back there in chapter 2:17, regarding the fruit of the tree of knowledge, that “on the day you eat of it you shall most surely die.” The Serpent, on the other hand, had contradicted Yahweh in chapter 3:4-5: “No! You will not die! God knows in fact that on the day you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods, knowing good and evil.” So what actually happened? Who lied and who told the truth about this remarkable fruit? The answer is given in the next verse:

22 Then Yahweh God said, “See, the man has become like one of us, with his knowledge of good and evil. He must not be allowed to stretch his hand out next and pick from the tree of life also, and eat some and live forever.”

Get that? Yahweh himself admits that he had lied! In fact, and in Yahweh’s own words, the Serpent spoke the absolute truth! And moreover, Yahweh tells the rest of the Pantheon that he intends to evict Adam (and presumably Eve as well) to keep them from gaining immortality to go with their newly-acquired divine knowledge. To prevent them, in other words, from truly becoming gods! So who, in this story, comes off as a benefactor of humanity, and who comes off as a tyrant? THE SERPENT NEVER LIED!

This story, to digress slightly, bears a remarkable resemblance to a contemporary tale from ancient Greece. In that version, the Serpent (later identified as Lucifer, the Light-Bearer) may be equated with the heroic titan Prometheus, who championed humanity against the tyranny of Zeus, who wished for people to be mere slaves of the gods. Prometheus, whose name means “forethought,” gave people wisdom, intelligence, and fire stolen from Olympus. Moreover, he ordained the portions of animal sacrifice so that humans got the best parts (the meat and hides) while the portion that was burned to the gods was the bones and fat. In punishment for this defiance of his divine authority, Zeus condemned Prometheus to a terrible punishment for an immortal: to be chained to a mountain in the Caucasus, where Zeus’ gryphon/eagle (actually a Lammergier) would devour his liver each day. It would grow back each night. Zeus promised to relent if Prometheus would reveal his great secret knowledge: Who would succeed Zeus as supreme god? Prometheus refused to tell, but history has revealed the answer…

The interesting thing about all this is that the Greeks properly regarded Prometheus as a noble hero in his defiance of unjust tyranny. One may wonder why the Serpent is not so well regarded. On the contrary, snakes are loathed throughout Christendom.

23 So Yahweh God expelled him from the Garden of Eden, to till the soil from which he had been taken.
24 He banished the man, and in front of the Garden of Eden he posted the cherubs, and the flame of a flashing sword, to guard the way to the tree of life.

So that’s it for the Fall. But the story of Adam and Eve doesn’t end there.

Gen 4:1 – The man had intercourse with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain…
2 She gave birth to a second child, Abel, the brother of Cain. Now Abel became a shepherd and kept flocks, while Cain tilled the soil.
3 Time passed and Cain brought some of the produce of the soil as an offering for Yahweh,
4 while Abel for his part brought the first-born of his flock and some of their fat as well. Yahweh looked with favor on Abel and his offering. But he did not look with favor on Cain and his offering, and Cain was very angry and downcast.

Well, why shouldn’t he be? Both brothers had brought forth their first fruits as offerings, but Yahveh rejected the vegetables and only accepted the blood sacrifice. This was to set a gruesome precedent:

8 Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out;” and while they were in the open country, Cain set on his brother Abel and killed him.

Accursed and marked for fratricide,
16 Cain left the presence of Yahweh and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

We can assume that the phrase “left the presence of Yahweh” implies that Yahweh is a local deity, and not omnipresent. Now Eden, according to Gen. 2:14-15, was situated at the source of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, apparently right where Lake Van is now, in Turkey. “East of Eden,” therefore, would probably be along the shores of the Caspian Sea, right in the Indo-European heartland. Cain settled in there, among the people of Nod, and married one of the women of that country. Here, for the first time, is specifically mentioned the “other people” who are not of the lineage of Adam and Eve. I.e., the Pagans.

So let’s look at this story from another viewpoint: There we were, around six thousand years ago, living in our little farming communities around the Caspian Sea, in the land of Nod, when this dude with a terrible scar comes stumbling in out of the sunset. He tells us this bizarre story, about how his mother and father had been created by some god named Jahweh, and put in charge of a beautiful garden somewhere out west, and how they had gotten thrown out for disobedience after eating some of the landlord’s forbidden magic fruit of enlightenment. He tells us of murdering his brother, as the god of his parents would only accept blood sacrifice, and of receiving that scar as a mark so that all would know him as a fratricide. The poor guy is really a mess psychologically, obsessed with guilt. He is also obsessively modest, insisting on wearing clothes even in the hottest summer, and he has a hard time with our penchant for skinny-dipping in the warm inland sea. He seems to believe that he is tainted by the “sin” of his parent’s disobedience; that it is in his blood, somehow, and will continue to contaminate his children and his children’s children. One of our healing women takes pity on the poor sucker, and marries him…

17 Cain had intercourse with his wife, and she conceived and gave birth to Enoch. He became builder of a town, and he gave the town the name of his son Enoch.

With both of their first sons not turning out very well, Adam and Eve decided to try again:

25 Adam had intercourse with his wife, and she gave birth to a son whom she named Seth…
26 A son was also born to Seth, and he named him Enosh. This man was the first to invoke the name of Yahweh.

Now it doesn’t mention here where Seth’s wife came from. Another woman from Nod, possibly, or maybe someone from another neolithic community downstream in the Tigris-Euphrates valley. But her folks also, cannot be of the lineage of Adam and Eve, and must also be counted among “the other people.”

But whatever happened to Adam? After all, way back there in chapter 2:17, warning Adam about the magic fruit of knowlege, Jahweh had told him that “on the day you eat of it you shall most surely die.” So, when did Adam die?

Gen. 5:4 – Adam lived for eight hundred years after the birth of Seth and he became the father of sons and daughters.
5 In all, Adam lived for nine hundred and thirty years; then he died.

Hey, that’s pretty good! Nine hundred and some odd years isn’t bad for a man who’s been told he’s gonna die the next day!

Well, the story goes on, and maybe next time the Witlesses come to visit I’ll tell more of it. But suffice it to say that those of us who are not of Semitic descent (i.e., not of the lineage of Adam and Eve) cannot share in the Original Sin that comes with that lineage. Being that the Bible is the story of that lineage, of Adam and Eve’s descendants and their special relationship with their particular god, Yahweh, it follows that this is not the story of the rest of us. We may may have been Cain’s wife’s people, or Seth’s wife’s people, or some other people over the hill and far away, but whichever people the rest of us are, as far as the Bible is concerned, we are the Other People, and so we are continually referred to throughout. Later books of the Bible are filled with admonitions to the followers of Yahweh to “learn not the ways of the Pagans…” (Jer 10:2) with detailed descriptions of exactly what it is we do, such as erect standing stones and sacred poles, worship in sacred groves and practice divination and magic. And worship the sun, moon, stars and the “Queen of Heaven.” “You must not behave as they do in Egypt where once you lived; you must not behave as they do in Canaan where I am taking you. You must not follow their laws.” (Lev 18:3) For Yahweh, as he so clearly emphasizes, is not the god of the Pagans. We have our own lineage and our own heritage, and our tale is not told in the Bible.

We were not “made” like clay figurines by a male deity out of “dust from the soil.” We were born of our Mother the Earth, and have evolved over eons in Her nurturing embrace. All of us, in our many and diverse tribes, have creation myths and legends of our origins and history; some of these tales may even be actually true. Like the descendants of Adam and Eve, many of us also have stories of great floods, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and other cataclysms that wiped out whole communities of our people, wherein “I alone survived to tell the tale.” Nearly all of our ancestral tribes (and especially those of us who today are reclaiming our own Pagan heritage) lack that peculiar obsessive body modesty that seems to be a hallmark of the original sin alluded to in the story of the Fall. We can be naked and unashamed! Why, our Goddess even tells us, “as a sign that you are truly free, you shall be naked in your rites.” Not being born into sin, we have no need of salvation, and no need of a Messiah to redeem our sinful souls. Neither heaven nor hell is our destination in the afterlife; we have our own various arrangements with our own various deities. The Bible is not our story; we have our own stories to tell, and they are many and diverse. In a long life, you may get to hear many of them…

Well, time to announce the winners of last Thursday’s Word Game. I have to say, I was really impressed with the answers.

Last week’s word was heterodox (adjective)

Meaning: against accepted or usual beliefs or opinions; especially in the church or religion; differing from the established religous point of view; contrary to acknowledged religous opinion or belief; accepting or teaching heretical or unorthodox opinions or doctrines

This word comes from the Greek root words “hetero” meaning opposite or dissimilar and “doxa” meaning opinion. Doxa comes from the Greek “dokein,” meaning to think.

Both Joyous and SilverRavenKat correctly defined the word. Joyous defined the word first by synonym and then discussed her views on it. Kat went above and beyond by breaking the word down to its roots. So 1 point each for them.

The point for most creative use of heterdox goes to LasaGrl. Her definition was technically incorrect, but given the way she used it in her short story, I can see how the word could possibly evolve to a sexual definition given enough time. Aside from that, it was a good story.

This week’s word is vexillology (noun)

Hint: This is probably very important at the UN.

***

And now for something completely different.

I wrote some Lovecraftian hiakus… Thought you all might enojy.

 

*That Color Out of Space*

that color of space
Lovecraftian histories
hyperspacial lore

here comes that color creeping
back again like a stain
a sunset out of space

*Through the Gates of the Silver Key*

far dreaming again
in realms of time and space; lost
in clueless wisdom

*Innsmouth*

From the vaults of lost ry’leh
Dreams inflicted nightly

Innsmouth waters
Cthulu’s agenda
Humanity in flux

Nightmares of a far off future
Or a mad god’s daydreams

*Lovecraft Meets Abbott and Costello*

Who’s on first
What’s on second
not sticking around to find out

*Empty Pockets, Reaching Tentacles*

Don’t tread on my tendrils.
These are hard times cousin,
spare some change?

Cthonian panhandler
guarding his corner jealously
from other homeless entities

pardon me, do you have any grey poupon?
Cthonian dweller searches
for a picnic spot… meal included

*Gods of the Outer Darkness*

Lovecraft was right
we went outside
the gods came in

*I Like Bagpipes*

Nyarlathotep’s
got nothing on the mad piping of
of the Scottish

*Every Old One Needs a Hobby*

fashion statement
every winter solstice
Ithaqua in red and white

I woke up this morning with achey hair. How do you sleep funny on your hair? My head doesn’t hurt, but my hair does. I don’t know if I’d be comforted if I could find some lumps or not. Sure I could have hit my head (in multiple places) in my sleep, but obviously I didn’t. It hurts so much I don’t want to shower. Hmmmm, alien implants do you suppose? lol

Have you ever been tempted to shave all your hair off and begin over again? Well, it would be easier to dye what’s left green then. I practically sit on it now. Hmmm, maybe if I appeared to be a bigger freak than the other freaks, the scary freaks would leave me alone. It’s a theory.  Too bad my body chemistry negates the possibility of piercings of any kind.

I slept weird last night. I was really tired when I got home at 9, so I went right to bed. But by 10:30 I was wide awake again. I watched most of She-Devil (I love that movie), then tried to go back to bed. But I was really hungry. That’s not unusual, but I try not to eat after 8. Unfortunately, my stomach didn’t care, so by midnight I was up again, giving in to my stomach and eating a handful of chips.

It didn’t help, so I got out my paper and pencils and sketched out a tattoo I’ve been considering. I’ll probably continue to consider it because I 1)don’t have the money and 2)would worry about the quality even if I did decide to do it. I mean, even a professional with years of experience and tons of beautiful examples can slip or sneeze. Working with henna might be a good option, but I wanted different colors (Wahhhhh! sniffle).

I finally tried for sleep again at 2, and slept till 6 when my mother asked to borrow my car. The cold has killed her battery. I guess I will just have to wait on going to the Salvation Army thriftstore.

Well, I tried to go back to sleep again, but I should have known it wouldn’t work. I was still hungry since I’d only eaten enough chips to take the edge off. Dumb stomach. Sometimes I can get away with eating very little for days, and then other days, I’m hungry alllll day no matter what, how much, or how often I eat. If only we could give up sleeping and eating (and excreting) altogether. Think of all the free time we’d have for other pursuits. Mmmmmm, free time.

So I ate breakfast and came online, and now it’s noon and I’m hungry again. lol I’m going to finish reading all my Monday webcomics before I go eat though. I am still master of this body, darn it! I’ll probably accomplish next to nothing today. Good thing I just have to color the comic for tomorrow and not draw it too.

Gah, I’m such a slacker loser. All the things I could have done, and I chose to post a long rambling blog with no point…

Ahhhhhhhhh, I’m beginning to hate people as much as I did during the holiday season. What is it about seb-zero temperatures that brings everyone out to shop? Frikkin people are nuts! My theory is, they think because of the temperature no one else will be crazy enough to venture out of doors, so they all decide to come shopping and overwhelm the post-holiday understaffed stores.

At least that poor boy who was in when that wacko talked to me came back. (Everyone at work has been made aware of the wacko, and he and any other wackos that present themselves may be tossed from the store if they bother us.) The boy ended up not buying any books of magick because basically I talked him out of it. He wanted an easy way of dealing with bullies, and I told him that magic is not the way -self-confidence is. He was also looking for something to believe in, and after talking to him for a while I told him he wasn’t an atheist, he was an agnostic and therefore he did believe in something. Agnosticism just isn’t an organized religion with lots of comradery. I think he really just wanted to talk to someone. I’m glad I could help him out. If he does later get into a Pagan belief system, it’ll be a stronger belief because he thought it out before hand.

But the majority of customers were horribly rude… like this one lady basically accused me of telling her daughter to get in line or get lost when she came to the info desk for help. OK, first of all, it is incredibly rude to see a line of three people and still come around the side of the info desk and try to butt in to ask a question. I’m sure if that same person were in line waiting, she wouldn’t appreciate someone butting in like that. Gah, why do people have to be such a$$holes. Like they are soooooooooo much more important than anyone else. No one else in the world is as important as they are. The world would reverse its spin on their say so. People make me sick sometimes.

Then I had a very bad experience on the way home from work. About half way home, this big yellow truck passed me just as the two lane highway turned into a one lane road. OK, all well and good, but then the jerk slammed on his breaks and I nearly rammed him. OK, so maybe something darted out in front of him… I don’t know. I’m willing to forgive and forget if the idiot would just start going the speed limit (55 MPH) instead of 30. Aaaaaaaand he kept drifting over into the oncoming traffic. Eeek!

So I really wanted to pass him once we got to the two-lane bridge. I did not want to be behind him if he drifted into the other lane and got nailed by a car. Yeah, watch both the cars flip around and nail my car then. (sue me, I’m a frikkin paranoid) But then the jerk started swerving all over the road in an effort to either keep me behind him or knock me off the bridge… at this point, I’m not sure which. At the end of the bridge, where the road turns back to a one-lane, he sped up so much I think he was doing about 75! When he had to go around the turn, he was entirely in the other lane.

Try as I might, I could not get his plate number, but I really wanted to call the cops on him any way. This is one time where having a cell phone would have been a really great thing to have.

Dumb drunks.

Where’s a cop when you really want one?

OK, I can say, without sounding pompous, that I am one of the most tolerant people you are ever likely to meet. I try not to judge anyone, and I respect their beliefs even if they are not my own. I’m more than willing to discuss my beliefs and their beliefs and any other beliefs objectively and without bias.

But oh my gods, last night the creepiest guy came into the store and talked to me for half an hour. Gah, day late for the full moon yah looney! I swear everytime someone made an announcement on the intercom, I hoped they’d be calling for me. Help, rescue! I was shouting psychically.

This is where politeness and social convention get you into trouble because this guy really needed to leave, but as an employee of the bookstore and as a polite human being, I didn’t feel like I had any option but to stand there and be totally freaked out by this crazy person. I think if he had been in the same aisle as me, instead of talking over a bookshelf at me, I might have bolted.

So I was helping this boy (about 16 yrs old) in the magick aisle, steering him away from the more commercial spell-a-page books and giving some friendly “the-gods-help-those-who-help-themselves” advice. How do you make spells, he asked, if you don’t buy these pre-fab spellbooks, and I proceeded to tell him about the various kinds of spells and that the most important component of a spell was the three R’s (research-research-research). But I also told him that the gods don’t like to give you everything you want because they’re like parents who want to see you succeed on your own. They prefer to give you what you need, but they’re not going to reward you with everything you want because they don’t want spoiled brats any more than your flesh and blood parents do…

Anyway, this guy was wandering around as I was speaking and said… “Did you say gods???” Ack, right there… TROUBLE! I knew it. But I had to be polite. No insulting the creepy customers… not good for business. You know, they should really put the Eastern religions next to the magic/metaphysical aisle and move the Bibles somewhere else. Less confrontation with the thumpers and fundies I think.

So I said, yes, gods, there are many. And went back to trying to help the boy. But this guy wouldn’t let it go.

He started telling me about experiences he’d had with demons and “visions” and signs from God and what did I think of this. Not that he really wanted my opinion. I think he just wanted a therapist. Several things came out in the course of his commentary…

He’d been seeing “demons” for years. He’d first seen them in the army as amorphous muddy blobs in humanoid form and ever after as cloaked figures which would attack him while he was sleeping and which when he tried to grab them, felt like jelly (hmmm ectoplasm?). The night-time attacks were basically classic “Old Hag” attacks, which I told him. He claimed to hear things and also see things. I suggested clairvoyance and clairaudience.

He’d had “visions” and dreams of an (underage!) neighbor girl, and her mother supposedly made up stories about him to get him arrested and a restraining order set against him. An ex-girl friend also had a restraining order against him. He’d been in prison. He’d spoken to his pastor and subsequently been ejected from his Church. It seemed he tried to suggest that bad things happened to people who went against him.

He’d had “visions” and promonitions of danger which had saved his life on more than one occassion.

He’d asked for and received “signs” from God on whether he should wait for the girl he’d had “visions” of before her family moved (as far away from him as possible I would assume).

I guess you can see why I was so completely creeped out, I was almost afraid to leave the store that night. Everytime a car tailgated me as I drove home, I worried he might be following me. I told everyone at work about him and if I see him again, I have permission to seek help (especially since he didn’t buy anything). I got off at 10, a half hour after he left, and I stayed in the store an extra half hour before I left. I slept badly, but without dreams (thank goodness), and I have an awful headache that will not die.

Thank goodness three elderly gentlemen came up and asked for help. They’d walked by once and gave the guy a stare, then kept going. Then they came back and asked me for help. I felt really bad about leaving the boy there alone, but I was pretty sure the guy would leave if I managed an escape and he did, about five minutes later.

I apologized to the boy when he came up to the info counter. I felt really bad about leaving him there. The entire time the guy harangued us about his experiences, the poor kid just stood next to me, completely silent and still. I think he was scared to death, like a little mouse frozen by a snake.

What do I think about the nutjob? Well, that says it all, eh? Whether or not his visions are real, I really couldn’t say, but do I think they’re from “God?” No, I don’t. If his “demons” are real, I think that his “signs” and “visions” are from them. He confessed to “experimenting” with the occult when he was younger. Nothing worse than someone who experiments without knowing what the heck they’re doing. That’s why research is always paramount. The lunatic probably stuck his demons on himself… if he’s not just schizophrenic.

I hope he doesn’t come back. I really, really hope he stays away. Or I might have to resort to drastic measures.

Yay! Hello Cthulu is back.  I only hope it continues to update in as timely a fashion as the artist has promised (every Friday). If you haven’t heard of it before… have you been held captive by nightgaunts under a rock somewhere or what? Time to catch up with Cthulu, Dagon, and the Color out of Space in the world of Hello Kitty. Surely Cthulu must be rolling in his watery “grave” over this comic.

In other news, I’ve decided to institute a game on my blog a la Joyous’ quote game. My game will be based on the use of strange or little used words however. I will present a new word (with hint) once a week. Define it and use it in a sentence, paragraph, or short story without looking up the meaning! One-point for the closest definition and one for the most creative use. Post the solution on your blog and I’ll link back to it when I choose the “winner.” That said, this week’s word is…

                                      Heterodox

Hint: this would be a pretty good adjective describing my general attitude.

 

Hmmm, this is kind of cool…

I am The Moon The Moon is the light of the realm of the unknown – the world of shadow and night. Although this place is awesome, it does not have to be frightening. In the right circumstances, the Moon inspires and enchants. It holds out the promise that all you imagine can be yours. The Moon guides you to the unknown so you can allow the unusual into your life. For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate. Month: Day: Year:

Well, I must admit, and I’m sure others would agree, I have a tendency to make life… interesting. heh

**

Yesterday’s comic turned out particularly well IMO, so if you haven’t gone to see it yet, you should check it out. Two notes… I hope everyone realizes that the shadowed word bubbles represent “silent” telepathic conversation. Also, the ghoul at the bottom of the page is not dead, although it could look that way… The bright light of the hall hurts its eyes, and it is also assuming an attitude of reverence. It is approaching it’s goddess afterall.

***

Now I hope no one will shun me for this admission, but I was watching MTV the other day. (ack, ducks heavy object thrown at head) Forgive me, I was sick and just flipping through the channels. I caught about the last half hour of this movie called Volcano High though, which stopped my channel travails.

OMG, it was too funny. Keep in mind I grew up watching Kung Fu Theater just about every Saturday afternoon for many years, so my enjoyment of this movie can be explained by my misspent youth. Believe me, I’ve not been a big fan of MTV since they canned Daria, but that’s another story.

Of course, I mention Volcano High because last night I had this hilarious/scary dream of a kung fu variety. Well, I finally used the tape recorder I requested for the holiday to record my dreaming. I know I would have forgot half the dream if I hadn’t (like I’ve already forgotten the dream I had later in the morning and didn’t record because I was getting up). Boy am I slurry at whatever the o’clock it was when I woke up.

Forgive me again, I must sing “everyone was kung fu fighting,” just for a moment… heheh

OK, onto the dream. First a bunch of us (martial arts types) were on this island in the middle of the ocean, very Mortal Kombat… At its center was a geiser, and somehow we had upset the earth’s magnetics with all our super-chi fighting and the geiser was erupting and all these huge tsunamis were crashing onto the island. So right before the waves came back, the geiser would erupt and I would jump up into the air, carrying someone. (I don’t remember who it was, but they were old, maybe a teacher.)

Everytime the tsunamis came crashing in, I jumped up and after a while, it was like a trampoline, I kept getting higher and higher till I pretty much had to grab onto the Earth’s magnetic field (which I could see as a something like a huge mesh covering the earth) and bungi back.

I had this really weird image of one of those little wooden benches (the kind that aren’t even six inches high) going back and forth under the ocean and causing the waves. Of course, it was the size of a continent, but I kicked it over and the whole mess finally settled down. lol

Someone said the tsunamis were caused by the earth making several new poles, but somehow I think it was that darn bench. The Earth settled down with two poles again and someone else said that the island was the South Pole now.(Interesting, would that make it Antarctica?)

So then we all got back down to fighting. This weird albino chick all in white was leading the opposition and this guy with really big arms (like so long he walked on all fours) had a grudge against me. I killed his father or brother or something. So he managed to get me down on the ground and was trying to crush me with his elbows. lol I guess if you’re gonna die, it’s nice to think it’s in a way no one else can claim. heh Yeah, got crushed by some guy’s mutant elbows in a kung fu fight to the death, you? lol

**

Oh, I remember part of the dream I had this morning now. I was planning on going away for a few days camping and people kept giving me things, like tv dinners, to take with me even though they didn’t want me to go. But everything they gave me was stupid, like how do you make a tv dinner without an oven anyway? Then I got to thinking about what time of year it was and that my sleeping bag just would not be warm enough. I didn’t have any money for hotels, and I didn’t want to sleep in the car.

My dream family was not my waking family, so in the dream I had an aunt and a father and cousins. Of course, even my dream dad was a drunk, go figure. He didn’t want me to go at all and said I had a smart mouth. He dragged me to this shed and stuck me in a big cage like I’ve seen parrots in sometimes. Then he gagged me to shut me up and tied my arms to the sides of the cage (I suppose so I couldn’t work the cage door). There was also one of those sharp nosed little dogs (a terrier I think) which was my dog in the dream. It kept barking and barking, and my dad shoved it in a little dog cage next to me. But when it didn’t stop barking, he kicked the cage around till it died!

Then my aunt and mother and cousins were in a minivan on a rainy road and suddenly they decided they couldn’t leave me with my dad. Apparently they’d known what he was going to do and went along with it because they didn’t want me to go away. In fact, my aunt said, “We can’t leave her with that Drunk!” and tried to put the van in reverse, but she put it into neutral instead or couldn’t get any traction and the tires just spun and screamed on the wet tarmac. Then she was pulled over by the police and had to tell them everything.

Altogether not a nice dream. No wonder I forgot it.