My TV died Tuesday. It made a hissing noise like gas escaping and went dark while I was in the next room. I don’t watch it much (I listen to it more), especially not since they took off Farscape and now Angel. What is there even to watch anymore? Tripping the Rift? I think not. Blah.

But I replaced it anyway. Why? I’m not quite sure. $158 on my credit card. I’ll have the TV paid off in two months the way I usually overpay each month. I usually pay $100 even though my monthly bill is closer to half that. I hate bills. The sooner I can get something paid down and done, the better. I’m looking forward to having my car paid off in three and a half months. That’ll be $200+ extra I can apply elsewhere or save.

As rarely as I use my Visa card, a twenty-five inch TV is not going to break me. At least I’ll be able to watch Adult Swim on Cartoon Network when I’m up with insomnia… which has basically been every night since they diverted traffic to our street for road work. I’m so tired… all the time. Normally I’d just catch up during the day. Normally I sleep better during the day any way, but even my airconditioner can’t drown out the daytime noise… and my airconditioner can drown out my mother’s boyfriend’s awful and excessively loud guitar playing one room down and over from mine. Shows you how loud the traffic has become on my little alley of a road.

At any rate, I waited till my mom came home to go out to get my new TV. I could have gone on my own, but I like her company and I don’t like going to places where there are a lot of people without some kind of emotional buffer. I like to sinc up with a companion, usually my mom, so that the emotions of the people around me don’t knock me about like a tree in the wind. A psychiatrist might call me agoraphobic and possibly delusional, but I don’t care. I’m highly empathic and crowds make me physically ill. Considering I’ve been fighting a migraine for about a week now (complete with ticks, clumsiness, dizzy spells, stuttering, and auras), I need all the buffering I can get. So far, the migraine hasn’t been debilitating though I did nearly passout on a customer the other day. Least work hasn’t been overly busy (and thus not too taxing empathically), though last night was a trial. If people ask my opinion on something, they could at least do me the courtesy of considering what I offer. Dumb people annoy me.

My mother’s been reading a book I bought on Shamanism. I haven’t had a chance to read it yet, but I generally have a stack of books to read and often read two or even three at once (used to be five when I was still in school), so I didn’t mind her borrowing it. Besides I already know a bit about Shamanism like I know a bit of just about everything. S’what comes of being an eclectic. lol

So she was talking about the things she had read in the book. How anyone can learn to see spirits. And then we were talking about Timothy Leary, and that only intelligent people should have access to so-called hallucinigenic drugs as a means to access the spirit world. I said I’d be willing to try a hallucinogen if I had access to a real practicioner of a faith that was familiar with their usage. Otherwise I won’t ever try anything. (I don’t even drink alcohol.) I’m not the sort to experiment on myself or turn my brain to mush, and I’ve read enough about shamanism and the use of hallucinogens to know it’s not always, or even often, visions of rainbows and puppies. If something went odd, I’d want someone there who knew what the heck they were doing.

But in any event, I think I insulted my mom because I won’t just go out and try drugs willy-nilly. How messed up is that? She comes from an era when drug use was recreational. She’s getting a lot more spiritual as she gets older, but she did drugs before and after I and my siblings were born. Heck, she was doing drugs while she was pregnant with all of us. I think she said I was the angeldust baby. Whee, great. Heck, she even dropped acid with my sister when she wanted to try it. Way to advocate that ‘just say no’ policy mom.

But the thing is, she tries to act as though drug use is OK… so long as you’re intelligent. So what should the IQ cut off point be? Hmmm? Below say, 120, you shouldn’t be allowed to take anything stronger than tylenol without a prescription? But really, do I need hallucinogens when my dreams are more than adequately odd and vivid?

I think my mom has a very skewed point of view. She didn’t get verbally hostile (she rarely does), but I could feel her shut me out as soon as I said I wouldn’t try hallucinogens without a shaman or equivalent. As if I was condemning her teenage recreational usage before and after my birth by declining to use them unless under controled circumstances.

So all in all, my trip to the Walmart for a new TV was very unpleasant with no buffer. My migraine manifested enough to make me completely crabby and irritable, and after getting home and installing the TV to make sure it worked, I took a nap and woke up to a thunderstorm. I tried to get the newsletter done anyway and ended up losing a quarter of it because of the storm, so I had to finished it Wednesday before going in to work. Thank goodness I have off today to catch up on rest!

This week’s newsletter is on the Moon. Check out the Sites of Interest, the article, and even the jokes for lots of Moon related information. If you’re planning a garden this year, the craft will be of special interest to you.

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~* Index *~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

I had the weirdest day yesterday. First I woke up from a dream. Sometimes my dreams are like mood music for the start of the day, and sometimes they’re totally misleading. I dreamed that my mother and myself were going out to shop, but my car wouldn’t start. It would only make gugguggug noises when we turned the key. So we took it to get fixed. They fixed it, but it still made the gugguggug noises, even as we drove it.

At first we were driving along normal roads, then backroads, then we got to these roads that were little more than bike paths, but were still meant for normal cars. Finally we were on a winding and wooded path, and somehow we had left the car behind. We came to a kind of natural spring/wishing well. The water was so far below, we couldn’t even see it, but we knew it was there. The spring was at the base of a tree. It’s thick roots completely encircled the rim of it and trailed down into the darkness. I took out the change from getting my car repaired and started dropping hands full of coins (dimes and pennies) into the dark well. They rattled off the numerous roots until they hit the water with soft plooping sounds. All the while I was dropping the coins, I was muttering “I wish I will win. I wish I will win.”

Soooo, I woke up at the sound of the alarm. Friday is my early day. (Blah ) Since they’re working on the roads (or are supposed to be) I decided to leave even earlier than usual just in case there was a lot of traffic. So of course, there was no traffic and no construction, and I was way ahead of schedule. After the dream I had, I decided to stop and not only get a jelly donut, but also some scratchoffs (why not?) So I got my donut and tickets, and went out to my car. I lost. Grrr. Then I was eating the donut and the stupid thing decided to get its revenge by disgorging its guts upon my shirt. Yay! lol Stupid donut. Luckily I had enough time left to rush home, change, and get to work without being late.

Third hour into register duty (yuk), the alarm went off as this guy rushed through the sensor, his arms loaded down with a pile of books and cds. Tossing my work aside, I rushed out the door after him. He was climbing into his running pickup truck. Um, cheekie shoplifter to say the least.

So I walked up to him, his foot already in the door of his truck and said, “Ex-Cuse me!” He looked up. “You Beeped!”

“Um, yeah…” he agreed. Imagine drool sloshing from his slack-jawed stupid head. Seriously, the guy had this aura about him that would have made Homer Simpson consider himself a genius.

“You’ll have to come back inside.” I told him. He did. I took the books. “Do you have a receipt?” No. “Who waited on you?” I don’t remember. “I’ll have to call a service manager.” Um, OK. So I did and as the service manager was coming up, he dashed out the door and took off. Moron. Ah der? I hate stupid people. If only I was lawfully allowed to smack stupid people… but officer, he was stupid… he needed to be conditioned and I didn’t have any electrodes to attach! Oh, OK, carry on citizen. Yay! Dream world! lol

So after this, everyone was asking if I tackled him and dragged him back inside. Which is much more exciting than the man following me back inside like a lobotomized sheep. I told them I knocked him out with my Princess Diana tiara and that I’d really like a Wonder Woman Lasso if they could find me one. I also told them no one should mess with me when I’ve got low blood sugar. hehe ROAR! lol (It was about a half hour till lunch when this happened.)

Anyway, my shift ended and I got out to my car to discover I’d left the headlights on! Eeeek! Was the dream coming to pass? Nope, because the car started right up, no problem.

Like I said, weird day.

Last night, I dreamed I was in my old Jr high school which had been converted to a bookstore by my former evil boss from the bank, or as I often referred to her in my head, “the Ice Queen.” Apparently I had loaned books to be sold, but her new business wasn’t doing so well, so she had called me to come and take my things away so they could move into a smaller space. And while I was there, I should take one of the registers too which had come from my mother’s yardsale. Then I was outside in a field of flowers with my former boss and I fell in the grass. It was not until I was on the ground that I noticed just how many bees were there, and one really big, fuzzy bee. I realized it was a bees’ nest! Eek! 

When I got up, there were several bees all over my left arm. I wasn’t too worried, though my former boss was freaked and said I should get them off or they would sting. I said no, they probably wouldn’t unless I raised a fuss. Most of them flew off, but one did sting me. I knew it would die because the stinger gets pulled from the bee’s abdomen when it stings something, so I carefully took hold of the bee and stinger and pulled both from my arm so the bee wouldn’t die. The sting hardly hurt at all. I was a little worried the other bees would sting too (following the first bee’s example), but they flew off and I woke up.

I wonder how weird today will be.

If you had any doubt about the kind of political machine running our country, doubt no further. Apparently the current political regime is running on high-octane apocalypse now dogma. That’s right… they can’t wait for doomsday any more; now they’re actively seeking it (partial article and link below). I think it’s safe to say that they are going to do what they want, no matter if it’s good for the rest of the world or just themselves. My favorite quote was “Everything that you’re discussing is information you’re not supposed to have.” hahahah heehehe

Yes, quite. Let us discuss the merits of keeping their apocalyptic agenda from the awareness of the “average man on the street.” Aside from the fact that not everyone is Christian, are the Christians themselves really ready for Jesus to come back? I mean I think there’s probably a lot of Christians out there who aren’t ready for the “Rapture.” Maybe if these Fundies told their peers that they were working for the end of the world, their brethren could get their crap together for the big day and fewer of them would be left behind when we, the meek (ie the people who have suffered the evangelizing of the Christians for two millennia), inherit the Earth.

ahhehehe, sorry, this article really tickled my irony bone.

But seriously, or surreally as the case may be, since these fundy groups share the world with many other religious groups, shouldn’t they ask whether the rest of us want their messiah to come back and end it all? Or maybe they’re just grasping at straws considering he’s about 2000 years late for his own resurrection. But I kid, I kid, I am so mean… No offense to all my Christian colleagues at Xanga.

Still, it just floors me that these people act as if they’re the only people on the planet -that their actions are all justified so long as it brings about the long expected conclusion to their benighted existence. On the one hand they want a state of Israel, and then on the other, they want to go over there and sermonize and convert despite Israel’s strict rule against missionary work. So they want a state of Israel to rebuild the temple of David because supposedly that will bring Christ back, but they want to convert them to Christianity too. And like this temple is going to be rebuilt and Jesus is just going to show up, nodding his head and stroking his beard, saying “Yup, yup, boys, that’s a damn fine temple you got there. Y’know what? Youse did such a mighty fine job reconstructing this old heap, let’s go to Heaven right now! Watcha say? Come on boys. It’s the rapture train! Woohoo! Everyone all aboard so you can contract in heaven to build even bigger, better temples at bargain basement prices.” It’s like they’ve all gotten anxious, sitting around, twiddling their thumbs, waiting for the big day, so now they’re going to try to coerce the return of their deity by showing how pious they are.

Well, I think I’ll just stay right here on good old Earth. Once all the “true Christians” have been raptured away, I think I can get along with remainders. Who needs to build temples when the grandest temples grow themselves from the strong earth in the light of the life-giving sun? These so-called true Christians need to be more humble, I think. Just an observation, but building temples and whatnot to rival the natural beauty of the world is pretty prideful. Whether you feel God or the Gods created the world, it seems we have temples ready made for our use in the natural wonders of the world. Why show our arrogance in trying to outdo the natural splendor of divine creation? Mimicry is one of the nicest forms of flattery, but trying to outdo the one you mimic is hubris.

Don’t you just love these little tirades I go off on? lol

The Jesus Landing Pad

Bush White House checked with rapture Christians before latest Israel move…
by Rick Perlstein
Village Voice
May 18th, 2004 10:00 AM

It was an e-mail we weren’t meant to see. Not for our eyes were the notes that showed White House staffers taking two-hour meetings with Christian fundamentalists, where they passed off bogus social science on gay marriage as if it were holy writ and issued fiery warnings that “the Presidents [sic] Administration and current Government is engaged in cultural, economical, and social struggle on every level”—this to a group whose representative in Israel believed herself to have been attacked by witchcraft unleashed by proximity to a volume of Harry Potter. Most of all, apparently, we’re not supposed to know the National Security Council’s top Middle East aide consults with apocalyptic Christians eager to ensure American policy on Israel conforms with their sectarian doomsday scenarios.

But now we know.

Hmmm, I like the new format for the blogrings, but has anyone noticed they wiped out the descriptions? I had to rewrite the description for my ‘ring -Responsible Magick- and I just don’t think it’s as good as the old one, or rather I think it’s maybe a bit pompous. I don’t know. I always worry I sound pompous when I try to promote something, especially myself or something I’ve done. But I honestly don’t remember what the old description was! Wahhhh!

We put the air-conditioners in the windows the other day. Everyone knows I hate summer right? Well, now you do. I hate it, seriously. Allergies aside, it’s too hot! I live in Pennsylvania, and it’s too hot. I don’t even want to know how people survive south of me, in Virginia or Texas, or gods forbid, the equator. Someday (maybe someday soon if Bush is re-elected) I am moving to Canada. You know, you can always put more clothes on, but there’s only so much you can take off. lol

I finally saw Hellraiser 6 “Hell-seeker” last night. I had to wait until everyone went to bed (since I’m the only horror fanatic in the house), so I was up till 1 AM watching it. And I had a dream, but I’ll get into it after I talk about the movie. lol

I saw #5 “Inferno” some time ago. Both #5 and #6 were direct to video, which is why I’m sure a lot of people don’t even know they exist. So far as I know, #7 is due out this year, and #8 may be out next year. What can I say? I’ve always been a horror fan. I’ve been watching Vincent Price since I was practically pre-verbal. lol Now there was a genius of horror. Not too many Shakespearean trained actors running around today doing horror movies, more’s the pity.

Let me just say, unless you’re a die-hard fan… skip Hellraiser #5. It’s pretty awful. I had read even Clive Barker didn’t care for #5, but he did like #6. Though it leapt around a lot, #6 really tied things up at the end. Plus, it brought back Kirsty, though not as the main character. Despite the gratuitous nudity and pseudo-sex -which I find boring though I’m sure other “normal” folks might find entertaining- it was a well-told story. Well, it’s hard to get away from that stuff anyway… since this is a Hellraiser movie we’re talking about.

Without spoiling it, I had figured out the main plot twists by the middle of the movie, but there were still a few surprises for me toward the very end that explained some of the more confusing idiosyncrasies of the plot, mainly some of the hallucinations and characters. I was dead-on about Kirsty’s role and found the source of the main character’s headaches and other phenomena more than a little amusing. Before the end of the movie I was surprised he hadn’t figured things out for himself. I swear I sit through a movie ultimately wondering why the character is so dumb he or she can’t see what’s staring them right in the face, but then I suppose if it was happening to me, I’d be in denial too.

So I went to bed around 1 AM. Obviously the dream I had was directly related to the movie. How could it not be? No gratuitous sex though. Those who know me well are already aware that’s “not my thing.” heh

Now if you’ve read the Hellraiser comic books (which I have), you’ll be aware that the cenobites don’t always kill people who wander into their domain. Nope, sometimes they adjust them and send them back so their kids will be… weird. So in my dream, a woman got “adjusted” (though they erased that memory) after playing with a puzzle box and trading in her husband to save her own hide. Nine months later she had a baby that didn’t cry and didn’t speak till it was four and then in whole sentences. Really she was at her wits end by the time the child was twelve, and had hated it ever since it was born (probably from guilt as well as nerves), even though the little girl never got into any trouble and had great grades in school. The problem was the kid didn’t react to anything emotionally. Very analytical, this kid.

So the mom was freaking out on the little girl once again- a fairly common occurrence- and the little girl was having none of it. She was pretty much tired of her mother’s tirades and told her so and asked what more she could do and if her mom thought she was a freak, then why was she a freak? And why would her mother never give her any answers when she asked? Not that the little girl knew about the box. She was pretty used to being a freak and really didn’t think she was very abnormal, just withdrawn and overly empathic. And who could blame her with the kind of emotional abuse she was going through on a daily basis. Soooo annnnnywaaaaaaaay… lol

The mother slapped her daughter pretty hard and told her to go to her room, and that she would not be fed that night (also a common occurrence in the dream). So while the little girl was sleeping, her mom took the puzzle box out of wherever she’d been keeping it and put it just inside the door with a note that said, “Go find your own answers.”

(This is a Very long dream! lol)

So the little girl took one look at the box and decided it would be a very bad thing to play with. But on the other hand, she took her mother’s words at face value and decided to leave home (at twelve years old heh) and find her own answers. She dumped all her schoolbooks from her Winnie the Pooh backpack, wrapped up the box in the note, and stuck it in the bottom with a couple changes of clothes on top.

She went off wondering through the city and ended up in an alley with this gang that decided they were going to have a little fun. They had her surrounded, with her back against the wall, and she just goes nuts. In addition to being able to feel other people’s emotions (in place of her own it would seem), she was also super strong… something she was not aware of until that point. Do you want details? I’m not sure if I should go that in-depth. I don’t want to gross people out. Can you picture a cute little 12-year old girl with a Winnie the Pooh backpack taking on five guys with her bare hands and killing every single one of them? I will say the first guy lost his eyes, and it got steadily more picturesque from there on out. (Man, who can I contact about making a Hellraiser #9!)

As is the norm in most of my dreams, the city was very maze-ish with houses in places houses should not be, namely in the middle of a street and blocking all thru-traffic. In order to continue down a street, the girl had to go through a house. In the house was a man and his teenaged daughter. The man was really a piece of work, very jealous of any friends the girl might have or any time she might spend out of doors. He beat her up a lot and tried to control everything she did, to the extent he basically had her in a basement cell with a camera on the wall. The cell was about a foot lower than the door and you had one big step down when you came in. It had white walls, a bed and a TV. Her clothes were outside the cell where he would choose what she was to wear everyday, etc. Very controlling.

For some reason, the daughter brought home some friends and was showing them her room, even though she knew it was not permitted. The father came home, flipped out, and started beating the crap out of his daughter. Enter the twelve-year old girl. She broke up the fight, but the father was still freaking out. He told everyone to get out or they’re going to be sorry. Then he went into another basement room and got a gun. The teenager and her friends were more than a little stunned by all this, but the little girl followed the guy and watched him loading his gun, then watched him go back to his daughter’s room, waving the gun and demanding to know where the little girl had gone.

When all the teens pointed, he went storming back the way he had come and once more walked past the girl. Apparently, she had master the art of “I’m not here, you don’t see me” while avoiding bullies when she was still going to school. This time, she walked really quickly around him and stood around the corner where he had got the gun. He then rounded the corner, saw her and raised the gun. But she said, “I don’t think you want to do that. I can see why you try to control everything around you, especially your daughter, because you can’t even control yourself.” She gave him this “look” and slowly his arm bent until he was pointing the gun at his own head. Then he shot himself with his daughter and her friends watching. They had followed him back to the room and seen everything.

(End’s coming! I promise… almost there! lol)

Everyone was kind of in shock, and the daughter was afraid she’d be put in foster care which she expected would be worse than anything her dad had ever done to her (because she’d heard stories). The little girl said not to worry, because she could fix it so the daughter could live there provided she got a job And allowed the little girl to stay since she didn’t have a home any more. They’d have to dismantle the camera and move the teen’s stuff up to a room, making it look as though nothing weird had been going on at all. This sounded good to everyone so they moved the teen’s stuff up to a room and made her former cell look like just another storage room. Then they called the cops and said they’d found father dead in the basement. The cops came and figured it for suicide. When social services came, the little girl did the old “Jedi-mind trick” on them… “This teen’s got a good head on her shoulders and is more than capable of taking care of herself,” and the social services people mumbled the same sentence to themselves while nodding like dummies.

And that was pretty much the point at which I woke up. It was obviously directly inspired by the movie, but I think it would make a great #9 if I were to write an ending for it. lol

I had a very odd dream last night. A group of kids went to this house to play a zombie RPG. I’m not exactly sure what happened after that, but some of them went off and really did turn into zombies. It was like they mummified in a matter of minutes. Then they got Really hungry. At first it was just regular food… chips, soda, etc, whatever they could find. Then one of them started chewing on its lips and liked it, I guess. She started going after the non-zombie players and the other zombies followed suit. One of the non-zombie players new some protective sigils and painted them all over a room which kept the zombies out. For a long time she was in the room alone, with only a plate of four magic hot-cross buns which never diminished no matter how many were eaten and a picture of juice that also replenished itself magically. (I kid you not! lol)

She couldn’t go out of the room because the zombies would wake up and attack her, so she stayed in the room. Years upon years passed, but she didn’t age. Then another group of people found the house and the zombies woke up, chasing them and killing some until they found the “safe” room.

So the people holed up in the room with the woman. They were very mystified by the muffins and never ending juice, but ate them anyway because they were hungry. heh Some of the people were determined to get out and started planning how they could do it. Then the zombies started coming through the walls because all the sigils had disappeared for some reason, and the woman had to face off against some mysterious “zombie-master” who may have originally been the owner of the house or the person who came up with the game. I’m not sure on that point, nor what happened after that- whether she won or he did. But basically he told her that he could have gotten into the room at any time, but didn’t think she was worth it until she had more people there with her for his zombies.

**

HGDKS, you asked where I get my quizzes… I wish I could say there was just one site, but in fact, I get them from all over the web. Many of them come to me through my email lists or newsgroups and some I encounter while I’m researching a newsletter.

Speaking of the newsletter, as promised, the subject for this week’s Newsletter is spirit animals. You can learn more about the history of spirit animals in this week’s article and then use this week’s “craft” to discover and interact with your own. All of this week’s jokes are animal related, and the Sites of Interest will hopefully provide you with some new insights on the subject.

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~* Index *~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

Hmmm, I took a chakra test…. I can’t say I exactly agree with the results. I’ll put what I agree with in bold and what I don’t agree with in italics. I put my own analysis of their analysis in parenthesis.

 

Root	Sacral	Navel	Heart	Throat	Third Eye	Crown

 

Root:	under-active	(-25%)
Sacral:	under-active	(-25%)
Navel:	under-active	(0%)
Heart:	open	(38%)
Throat:	over-active	(69%)
Third Eye:	over-active	(88%)
Crown:	over-active	(88%)

If you tend to be fearful or nervous, your Root chakra is probably under-active. You’d easily feel unwelcome. (I’d never describe myself as fearful or characterize myself as nervous by nature, but I do easily feel unwelcome. I don’t like to assert myself because I feel it’s rude. When I was a kid, I would always wait to be invited into groups or to gatherings. I felt if they wanted me along, they would ask and if they didn’t I wouldn’t become an unwanted tag-a-long. As you might imagine, I didn’t get out much. oh well.)

If you tend to be stiff and unemotional or have a “poker face,” the Sacral chakra is under-active. You’re not very open to people. (About the only thing I can agree with is the poker-face. I hide my emotions very well, but that doesn’t make me unemotional and being an empath, I am extremely open to people… that’s the problem.)

When the Navel chakra is under-active, you tend to be passive and indecisive. You’re probably timid and don’t get what you want. (I am passive and timid, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say indecisive or that I don’t get what I want. I’m just very careful about what I want and how I get it. Mostly I let things come to me. I am very Taoist by nature. If things don’t come, I’m not going to let it bother me too much.)

The Heart chakra is about love, kindness and affection. When it is open, you are compassionate and friendly, and you work at harmonious relationships. (This is the only analysis I can agree with completely.)

If this chakra (Throat) is over-active, you tend to speak too much, usually to domineer and keep people at a distance. You’re a bad listener if this is the case. (I do tend to keep people at a distance as a way to cushion my over-active empathy, but beyond that, I can’t say any of this is true. I’d say I am a very good listener, or else why do people come to me, sometimes out of the blue, to unload their problems? Sometimes I may speak too freely when I feel comfortable with certain people, but I don’t imagine those people mind. I don’t see myself as domineering at all, though I may be deluding myself on that point.)

If this chakra (Third-Eye) is over-active, you may live in a world of fantasy too much. In excessive cases halucinations are possible. (Hey, I’m a writer. Aren’t I supposed to live in a fantasy world? I think they missed the point that an over-active third-eye chakra might mean I am overly psychic… coupled with the open heart chakra, this would naturally explain my strong empathy-skills, right?)

If this chakra (Crown) is over-active, you are probably intellectualizing things too much. You may be addicted to spirituality and are probably ignoring your bodily needs. (Addicted to spirituality? Hmmm, is that possible? I wonder if people who have an over-active crown chakra get lots of headaches like I do. I do tend to intellectualize/analyze things to death. I also tend to ignore my bodily needs in as much as I will go without eating or sleeping if it means I have to leave something I am working on.)

Now this site doesn’t give an overall reading but, it’s interesting to note that my low scores are all “below the belt.” They’re all materialistic/sensualist chakras. While having them open might help to balance my over-active crown chakra (get me to take care of my body more), I don’t really miss their influence… or do I? I’m not sure. Can someone tell me why I should or shed more light on the miniscule interpretation the site gave? I don’t think the scores are particularly low, given how high or low they can range.

It’s also interesting to note that all my “above the belt” chakras are active or over-active. The heart chakra is about normal I’d guess by their scoring. I would think since the scoring runs from -100% to 100% that 0 would be the average, but apparently it’s not. I mean, shouldn’t -50 to -100 be under-active, -49 to 49 be active, and 49 to 100 be overactive? There goes my bad old crown chakra, over analyzing things again! lol

My “over-active” chakras are also ones which are associated with psychic ability and communication. That seems eerily appropriate give my psychic talents and that I am an “indigo” (actually a Crystal according to one test I took). So is it really a bad thing that they are “over-active?” I suppose it could lead me to fool myself in certain situations, but beyond that?

Ahh, I feel much better and thanks to everyone for their kind words and advice. My headaches and ‘other problems’ are just something I’m going to have to live with, but sometimes I feel like complaining about it. Did you ever notice moaning about something really does make you feel better sometimes? Just like grunting when you pick up something heavy helps. heh My head hurt me all day on Wednesday, and ironically it started to get better as soon as I posted here. Blogging really is cathartic! lol 

Dosmangoes, commented about reincarnation, wondering about the selection of sex before birth. According to Buddhist teachings, in the “afterlife” you will see many things. When you are ready to be reborn, you will see men and women. Depending upon which you are attracted to, you will be born as the opposite. So when you were ready to be reborn, you saw and were attracted to a woman, you would be a man when you were reborn, and vice versa. This is not necessarily what I believe, but it is an interesting explanation nonetheless.

But it’s not an explanation that explains homosexuals or bisexuals. I mean, if you’re a man and attracted to men when you die, when it came time to be reborn, wouldn’t you come back as a woman because you were attracted to men? So wouldn’t there only be same-sex couples for one generation? Personally I tend to see homosexuality as a natural attempt by the world to control the human population explosion. Too bad a lot of homosexual couples still have that reproductive urge. Of course, if adoption for such couples ever became the norm, maybe things would even out.

In any event (off on a tangent I go lalala lol), even though I like Buddhism and agree with much of what it has to teach people, I do not feel their particular take on sex selection during the reincarnation process is correct. Or at least not entirely. I’m sure there’s a lot more chance involved in the process. I think sexual selection is not an active process, but is based on other plans we make for our new lives. I say this based on the fact that I have been both male and female in my own past lives, and I don’t recall ever actively making a decision to be one or the other. This is my eleventh life that I recall and the sixth one as a female, so my rebirths have pretty much been evenly divided. However since I tend to recall most of my past lives concurrent with the age in this life when I died, it remains to be seen if any others will show themselves. I am only thirty. I (hopefully) have a lot more time ahead of me.

HGDKS asked about spirit guides and whether they follow families/bloodlines. Technically I’d say no, I haven’t heard of spirit guides which follow the same family down through the generations. Some guides might share a parent and child, but a lot of them are just between lives themselves, so eventually they’re going to be reborn. If anything, spirit guides are based on past relationships between the pair as living entities -possibly they were family in a past life or friends or some other relationship. Of course, that doesn’t rule out a higher entity that has never had a physical manifestation or one that has not had a manifestation in a long, long time from attaching itself to a human being.

There’s a slight problem with guides that might crop up from time to time. I’ve never seen it addressed anywhere, so I thought I’d bring it up. A lot of guides were human once or more than once and probably will be again. So they’ve had past lives, just like us. That’s not a problem per se, but it is a complication. For instance, one guide could manifest as several different people, but still be the same entity. And that entity could run the gamut from practically seraphic to benign human. It makes me wonder how many people who say they have several guides, really only have one.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that some people’s past lives can appear as spirit guides. I’m not sure how that works at all… some kind of spiritual split personality where the current manifestation talks to him/herself without being aware of the difference. Not that we don’t have things to learn from past life manifestions, but should there be some differentiation made between past incarnation conversations and interaction with outside guides? Which obviously leads to the question, if we’re capable of talking to ourselves in this fashion, how many of us really have spirit guides?

 

Agh, I have such a tremendous headache today. That’s what I get for staying up till 2 am, two nights in a row. Not that I felt particularly well yesterday; my stomach was killing me. But I know it wasn’t my stomach… I just have, you know, “female problems.” You see I skip, and then I get it worse three, four months later. You know, if men had to suffer like this, hysterectomies would not be optional surgeries. I’d honestly like to be neutered now… please. How about this, anyone who’s infertile can have my organs for their very own if they’re willing to pay for the operation. Surely they’d work out much better for someone who actually used them. heh

But today my stomach is relatively alright (just nausea today) and it’s my head that’s causing me pain. Despite copious amounts of painkillers and even lots of peppermint oil, this is the headache that won’t die. Guess I won’t be staying up till 2 AM tonight! lol Unfortunately, I know I couldn’t survive without a head, more’s the pity. heh Just imagine all the thinking I could do if I was not distracted by my body’s aches and pains.

Gah, I don’t want to go to work and I leave in 15 minutes. I don’t want to work till 11:30, to get home at midnight. But I dread calling in for whatever reason, even valid ones, because I’ve had very bad jobs in the past that would cut my hours, etc if I called in, and plus it’s not fair to everyone who must work harder because I’m not there. I worked when my cramps were at their worst and I was, forgive the imagery, “gushing like a stuck pig,” I can work with a “little headache.”

I am entirely too consciencious for my own good.

But in any event, here is this week’s Ancient Whispers newsletter. By request, this week’s newsletter is on the subject of spirit guides. All the Sites of Interest, the article, and the “craft” deal with Spirit Guides and how to try contacting yours. Next week’s newsletter, also by request, will be on the subject of Spirit Animals.

I hope everyone had a great Beltaine.

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~* Index *~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

I think I’ve been seeing too many Van Helsing previews. Monday night I had a dream featuring a vampire and last night it was werewolves. lol

Monday night I dreamed some university was handing out four full scholarships. First one girl was named prematurely, but it turned out to have been a mistake. Then four people were named, three men and one woman (me). The woman who was wrongly named as a winner won a consolation prize of an Xbox.

One of the men was a vampire. Everyone knew it, but no one seemed to have a problem with it. Until the murders began, that is.

But I get ahead of myself…

Included in the prize was a house for each of the winners to live in while they attended school. So I invited the girl who had been wrongly named to live with me. She was really bitter about the scholarship, but didn’t seem to hold it against me, and we became friends. She was still attending the university; she just had to pay her own way. I felt really guitly for my part, because I didn’t recall having entered to receive a scholarship of any kind. But the weird thing is, I was remotely witness to the selection of the winners in my dream, so I know they just turned to a page of the phone book and randomly selected the first four names at the top of the second column on the second page.

Soon there were some murders on campus, all students, and one of the first was one of my fellow scholarship winners. Everyone suspected the vampire fellow, but for my part, I suspected my roommate, especially after she disappeared.

So we had this really gorgeous house out in the middle of the woods. For some reason, I invited the two remaining scholarship winners out to the house to help me search for my missing friend. We searched high and low, but no one could find her. Finally exhausted, I opened a mini-fridge to get some drinks for us and gallons of water, ice, and the severed remains of what appeared to be my former housemate poured out.

Which made me switch my suspicion to the vampire guy along with everyone else, especially since he just happened to be out of the room when the body parts appeared. I and the other scholarship winner went through the woods in search of the vampire guy to confront him, but then my companion disappeared too.

So I was wondering through the woods in the middle of the night hunting a vampire. (I think I must lose IQ points in my sleep.) Anyway I was meekly wandering around the woods, when who should I meet but my former roommate, armed with an axe and dismembering my missing co-scholarship winner! It turns out it was some other woman’s body in the mini-fridge! Who knew?

When she saw me, she hefted the axe with a look of maniacly glee and said she’d been waiting to kill me for last, but since I was there why not get it out of the way. I asked her why as I thought we were friends, and she said I only wanted to be friends because of her Xbox! lol I turned around to run and collided with the vampire guy who knocked me to the side, grabbed the axe, and chopped off the maniac’s head. Yay! Way to go vampire guy! lol It turned out he was just really ticked about the “racial profiling” that was going on with him as the main suspect of the slayings and wanted to get even.

**

Then last night I had a much shorter dream. A group of space werewolves called Lycans crashlanded in the woods. They decided to try and blend in with humanity to keep under the radar of the local authorities while they tried to fix their ship. So my family was living in a trailer and a family of Lycans bought the trailer right next to us. No one knew they were werewolves, because despite their cute wolfie ears, they supposedly looked just like everyone else. (Maybe I was the only one who could see the ears?) The father of the family looked just like an older, bulkier Inuyasha! lol (An Anime cartoon shown on the Cartoon network’s adult swim for those who don’t know.)

So I became friends with the family and much bizarre inter-species hilarity ensued. Like when the oldest boy tried to fix the outdoor water faucet for both houses and ended up turning the front yard into a huge mud puddle which his sister took great joy in leaping into repeatedly.

I was the only one who knew that they were really aliens because I was friends with the brother and sister and tried to help them fit in better. There parents didn’t know I knew they were werewolves, but they were nice enough. Most of their people stayed out in the woods and worked on the ship, but the father got a job as a highschool teacher, and I think the mother was a botanist or vet.

The Lycans started coming out the woods and doing horrible things though, and my friends and their parents couldn’t figure out what was going on because they were a peaceful people. The mother thought it might be an earth disease like rabies that was making them go crazy. But the father thought it might be a computer virus that they had caught from the corrupted ship’s computer and went out to the ship to try and figure things out. When he came back, he was just as nutty and violent as the others. He kidnapped his wife to the ship, while I and my friends hid out in the woods.

We decided that I should fix the ship because I should probably be immune to the computer virus being non-Lycan. So we snuck on board and I sat in this padded chair which was where the pilot would normally sit to guide the ship. A VR helmet came down over my head.

Then it was like the scene from Lawnmower Man where everything is flying at your head. It was all strange glowing green and red symbols in loops and patterns. (Really, given my passion for symbols it was a lot of fun. heh) So I set the pattern right and saved the Lycans who all went back to normal once the symbols were back in order.

**

So that’s it. Two bizarre dreams for your reading pleasure.

Now, for a final round of three questions, I received these questions from SilverRavenKat.

1. If you could be any animal in the world, which one would you be and why?

If I could be any animal, I would be a Raven. They’re the smartest of birds, and they have a great sense of humor.

2. If you were secluded on an island with any two books of your choosing which two would you chose?

Gah, only two???????? Well, let’s be practical. If I was secluded on an island, I assume I would be marooned, so one of the books would have to be on the subject of the native flora so i could feed myself. The other, well, I think I would want The Hobbit, so I’d have something fun to read while waiting for rescue.

3. What is the greatest moment of your life?

I don’t think it’s happened yet… I really can’t think of anything that I would consider great or defining. What a horribly boring person I am. No wonder my dreams are so outre.