November 12, 2004

• I hate my brother. The more I have thought about his accusations and his general character, the more I believe he is a liar. I still don’t like my mom’s BF, and I know he has acted in what I would consider an inappropriate manner toward me, but I have never seen him behave in any way inappropriately to a child.

  
  

  Apparently, my brother told my sister that my mom’s BF started behaving inappropriately from nearly the instant he moved in with us (when my brother was 12). At that time, my brother was staying in his room even more than I did (or do). In fact, he was pretty much permanently grounded because he refused to go to school… for almost three years. To really drive home the severety of his introversion at that time… my mother told him not to come out of his room except to go to the bathroom or get food. So he didn’t bathe or move from his room for that entire time. He has frikkin growth marks on his knees from sitting in his bed with his knees folded up to read. He didn’t obediently stay in his room because he has mental problems (though I’m sure he does)… he did it because he’s a stubborn little monster who likes to punish my mother by “punishing” himself. My mother believes he has Aspbergers syndrome. I think he’s just a stubborn little sociopath with no feelings for anyone but himself.

  
  

  So how could it be that my mom’s BF was discussing anything with him when my brother wasn’t talking to anyone. I know he didn’t speak to me for all those years, because I refused to cater to his “oh, woe is me” attitude. School was no picnic for me, but I went until I could legally get out. His experience was no where near as bad as mine. He was just too lazy to bide his time.

  
  

  So when he says that all this started ten years ago, I don’t know how anyone can believe him. He didn’t socialize with anyone at that time, let alone my mom’s BF.

  
  

  Given our family history, my brother knew exactly how to get my sister to back him up. My sister would stand behind anyone who alleged child molestation. Because my mom’s BF is the most vocal about my brother getting a job and getting out of the house (remember, he’s been living on our sofa for about six months), my brother launched an attack at the one person putting the most pressure on him. What he would most like to see is a breakup between my mom and her BF. Well, who wouldn’t really? But this isn’t the way to go about getting that.

  
  

  So, knowing my brother as I do, I know he’s not above making things up, if not to drive my mom and her BF apart, then at least to make everyone around him miserable. He’s said some pretty outrageous things over the years, and he’s done extremely weird stuff too (won’t go into details). Given his past and his penchant for opening his mouth and letting whatever vileness was in his head spill out, if my mom’s BF had really done anything, I think my brother would have said something long before now.

  
  

  Since my last post, my brother punched my sister, and she threw him out. He tried to come back here, but my mom told him he can’t expect to live under my mom’s BF’s roof after the things he said. That’s when her BF found out what my brother had said. Now, if he had freaked out, I might have leant credence to my brother’s accusations, but instead, he’s withdrawn, hardly speaks, and has barely eaten anything in two days. He doesn’t act guilty, and doesn’t *feel* guilty to me.

  
  

  So now my brother is in a hospital for psychiatric evaluation, but he says they’re not doing anything with him. I imagine it’s because he doesn’t have any health insurance, and he’s not excessively crazed… no voices or acting out. He’s been there for two days, but evaluation is seventy-two hours.

  
  

  I’ve asked my tarot cards repeatedly, and they are emphatic. My brother is lying. It’s complete fantasy. They also indicate that my sister will eventually stop believing him too, and that he will have a long road to walk before things turn right for him again. But in the meantime, my sister can’t bring her baby over any more because she’s trying to get sole custody from her boyfriend and after my brother’s accusations, her bf could use that against her.

  
  

  Sometimes I wish I was an only child. I’ve never made any problems for my family. It’s always been the other two, and I’d be hard pressed to say which has made more. They make me want to bang my head on the desk, or maybe their heads on the desk. Sigh. I feel like I am living in a soap opera… and I HATE the soaps.

  • 11:05 am
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