January 12, 2005
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Could it be that I’m finally dreaming with some regularity again. A dream two days ago and two last night, though the second was more than a little fuzzy…
In the first I was some kind of secret agent man, hunting down my arch-nemisis, the head of an international crime cartel. He escaped me, but I managed to snag a teleportation watch. After my people looked it over, it was decided that I would use it to get into their hideout with the mission of discovering its location and relaying that to my superiors. I was not supposed to engage the enemy.
So I used the watch and poof, I was in a library (I’ve been in this library in other dreams BTW). I walked through the library and then I was in a what appeared to be a flea market with baby toys and tacky costume jewelry. It was at this point that I discovered I had no weapons. Apparently they’d all disappeared when I teleported.
So I began looking for a weapon among the baby toys. The best I found was a rather small wooden hammer shaped like a mallet. I was just about to accept the hammer as the best of the lot when I saw these things under the toys that looked like drill bits of varying sizes. I began gathering them up and stuffing them in my pockets. And then I found this weird wand-thing with lots of metal spikes to which they should be attached.
Having wasted enough time, I set off through the rooms till I found myself in a series of offices. No one paid any attention to me at all, as if I wasn’t even there. Of course, then I saw my arch-nemisis coming out of an office and I ralized even if everyone else ignored me, he certainly wouldn’t when he recognized me. So I started looking for a way out of the offices, but I kept going around and around in circles, trying to avoid him and escape all at the same time.
Finally I found a stairwell, but as I reached the bottom it was filled with stolen merchandise, mostly VCRs, which were tagged with information about date of theft, location, and thief responsible. I came falling through the packages, disrupting some thieves filling out paperwork on where, when, and how they had done their deeds.
I ran further, passing many exit signs with locked doors, until I came to what appeared to be an old theater concessions area with a series of revolving doors to the outside. As I ran through the doors, there was shouting as my pursuers and the people at the concessions/desk followed me out. I turned to look at the building and found it really was an old theater, though the sign was cracked and falling in. I knew I was in New York City, though there were no people anywhere around.
I was just about to contact my people when my arch-nemisis caught up to me. He grabbed hold of my coat, screaming, “Stop thief!”
“Thief?” said I, holding up one of the drill-bits to do battle.
“Yes! That’s my pick-a thing.” He answered pointing at the drill bit.
So I plunged my hand into my pocket and pulled out all the bits and pieces. “Is that what you call it, Old Bean? It’s quite nice.”
That stymied him and made him happy at once. “Oh yes, it is, isn’t?” and he proceeded to show me how it worked, while his henchmen stood around us looking a bit pissed.
“Christ! They’re like children!” muttered one of them.
***
The second dream involved an affectionate Shetland pony with an unfortunate case of diarreah. A truck driving midget who was attempting to drive two vehicles at once and managed to almost hit my car with a van when he failed to put it in park before jumping out to drive the truck a little way. Fortunately the van coasted past my car and a truck to collide with a parked U-haul. Then I was in a mansion with several people for some kind of reality show. I had to take off a swimsuit to get ready for dinner, but I could get the darn thing off. There were always more straps, and they kept getting tighter. This was alright though, because there was a cannibal who was going to eat everyone at dinner and my not being able to change for dinner effectively saved my life (though I was forbidden from telling everyone else about it).
