January 16, 2005

• Last night I dreamed of a pair of vampires. Not only had they just woken up in this century, they were illegal immigrants. They set up house in an abandoned mansion and allowed a local boy to come in and fix the place up.

  
  

  Since they didn’t legally exist, the first order of business was to get a fake identity. So the boy put them in touch with the Mafia. After agreeing upon the price, the male vampire drove up to a drivethru to purchase the identities. They got into a discussion and the vampire mentioned an Italian saying that he’d always been fond of. The guy at the window got excited and whipped out a little gold plaque with the saying on it, giving it to the vampire. There was one little modification that changed a word meaning man to fool and they laughed about it.

  
  

  When he came back to the house, the lady vampire told him that she’d found out the boy was sleeping in the woods because his father was beating him. She convinced him to let the boy stay in the house with them. They just had to make sure he didn’t find out they were vampires. They explained to him that they were night people and didn’t really care to be out in the day, so he agreed not to disturb them during daylight hours.

  
  

  At some point, the boy convinced the vampire lady to adopt a pet. She went into a pet store and there was a beautiful green parrot which cooed and chirruped at her and nuzzled her with its beak until she just had to buy him.

  
  

  Then they won a billion dollar lottery. They gave the boy a couple million and he bought a house, then they went to the stock market to invest the rest. The lady decided to invest in 400 shares of natural energy research. (Since I don’t know anything about investing, I don’t know if investing in research is actually something you can do with stocks! lol) Then President Bush popped up, acting like a spoiled baby because of their ecologically friendly investments. He kept pointing to a chart that showed oil investments going down and natural energy going up. So she bought 400 more shares and told him to shut up or she’d invest a couple million in natural energy! Yay! lol

  
  

  Unfortunately at that point, an Italian couple came out and said we were using their identity and that the money should belong to them since we weren’t even American citizens. (Of course that doesn’t make sense since the money would go to the ticket holder, not the Italian couple.) For some reason they were more worried about being deported than being found out as vampires, but I don’t know why they didn’t think of all that when they claimed the proze. So the vampire couple escaped with the boy and the parrot and they went to the house the boy had bought with the money they gave him.

  
  

  But it was a very little house, two rooms and litte more than the size of a dog house. All three of them barely fit into one room and they had to sit or go through the roof. The boy made banana smoothies with milk and half a chocolate covered banana.

  
  

  **

  
  

  Ever notice how my dreams start out somewhat realistically and then quickly spiral into surrealism? lol

  • 11:48 am
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