July 31, 2007

• Pain… the parasite

  I hate going into work early because I hate going to bed early. When I was younger, I would have liked very much to never get up in the day. I even entertained ideas of finding a graveyard shift job at one point.   Alas, I come from a family of morning people  who have never appreciated my nocturnal habits. One more thing that sets me apart from them. I prefer the night, when there is hardly anyone about and I can have the whole world to myself. During the day, everyone is running about and zipping around in cars. The daylight world is much too active for me… all go, go, go.

  Last night I went to bed at 8pm because I had to be at work by 6am, but at 1:30am a tremendous pain decided to nest in my head. I put some peppermint oil on my temples and took some rapid release tylenol. If I had not had to get up at 5 , I definitely would have taken something stronger. The headache followed me to work, and even now I can feel it crawling around behind my eyes. At one point, I blew my nose and there was blood, so probably a sinus infection of some kind. I should probably see about picking up some yogurt tomorrow. Acidophilus is good for all kinds of infections.

  Nasty things… headaches. I don’t see that they serve any function other than to annoy and debilitate. I’ve had them all my life, from one thing or another. It’s probably one of the reasons I’m a nightowl…. there’s less light to bother my eyes at night. I have excellent night vision, but light is tricky. I’d rather navigate a mostly dark room than face a sunny day. I’ve always enjoyed stormy, cloudy days to sunny ones, but that’s not really a surprise. I was born on a storm god’s holy day.

  At least I don’t get so many headaches as I did when I was a kid. It used to be I ‘d have a headache nearly every day of the week. Now it’s more like once or twice. Perhaps people who suffer from chronic pain will understand…. that when you have pain all the time, it starts to seem like a living thing inside you. Some kind of parasitic entity that responds to movement, thoughts, emotion…. Or maybe I just spent too many days alone as a sickly kid that no one much bothered with. Funny story… it used to be that I spent so little time outside my room that when and if I did something “wrong,” my mother would ground me by taking away all but my school books. She kind of stopped that once she realized I didn’t mind reading her old encyclopedias or the dictionary.

  I can usually tell if a headache is here to stay no matter what I do or if it’ll go it’s own way after a bit of caffeine and a couple painkillers. I reserve the peppermint for the really bad ones, and I’ve used it three times today. It doesn’t get rid of the headache, per se, but it does reduce the pain and stop it from getting worse. And the smell helps the nausea when it’s a migraine. I wish I had known about peppermint oil when I was a kid!

  But oddly enough, I am extremely sensitive to smells. Peppermint is a strong smell that makes me feel better, but other strong smells can actually give me a headache or at least make me nauseous. Coffee, patchouli, car exhaust, there are lots of people who like those smells. Some people even claim not to smell car exhaust at all. It makes me want to throw up. It’s all metallic cotton with centipede legs burrowing up into the sinuses like its found a new home. Car exhaust is one of the worst smells.

  Another odd thing… my hearing is very acute as well. I can hear a lot of things other people miss. I don’t like bass sounds, but I love treble. If I have a headache, I can listen to music provided the bass is not too strong. If it’s something I can sing along to, even better. If I have the strength to sing, just the act of singing can make me feel better. If I am hungry or nauseous, or if I have headache, if I can sing, I can sustain myself until the time comes that I am able to lie down. Isn’t that weird? People don’t understand how I can sing when I’m in pain. Some have even thought I was faking because of it.

  I also get very weird when I’m in pain… oddly creative. I write some of my best stories when I’m in pain or sleep deprived. I’m obnoxious and weirdly silly, and it confuses the daylights out of people. Which, speaking of “daylights,” is pretty ironic… a nightowl confusing the daylights out of people. heh Oh, did I forget to mention my penchant for bad puns and worse puns when I’m in one of my “moods?”

  

  

  • 9:39 pm
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