October 19, 2007
-
Featured Question #73: Marriage
Is the idea of marriage too outdated for the 21st century?
I don’t know that it is outdated, but in the same breath, I don’t think it is for everyone. I’m asexual, so I don’t foresee myself ever marrying. If I did marry, my partner would obviously have to be asexual too. Asexuals can have feelings of love, but we just don’t have any desire for sex. In that event, marriage becomes an economic partnership. In these days, unless you have a good paying job, or two, survival on your own is close to impossible. I still live with my parents and I don’t foresee that I will ever move out. I pretty much pay the mortgage every month; they pay the utilities.
I think for some people, marriage is still viable. People still fall in love and say they want to spend the rest of their lives together. I think that’s lovely. I think anyone who wishes to be married, should be. There shouldn’t be any limitations on marriage based on sex. If people love one another, they should be permitted to declare that to the world with great ceremony and celebration.
In all honestly, I think the institution of marriage should be revamped, but not altogether done away with. If anything, I think it should be expanded. Marriage should represent any partnership with a foundation in love, and not necessarily physical love. Marriage should be expanded to include all one’s kith and kin. Marriage is and should continue to be the foundation of family, but who we choose to include to our families should be entirely up to us (not the government). Everyone should have the right to take into their family, the friends who are closest to their hearts. People might assume that with the institution of marriage, sex is implied, but why? I don’t think it needs to be.
I think that if the idea of marriage is to survive, it should change. Any two people can get together and produce a baby. That’s not marriage. Marriage is about declaring your love and your intention to form a family to the world. If marriage is to survive, the concept of family will have to grow.
I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!
Comments (7)
Wow. This is a really good post. I really enjoyed reading it
I couldn’t agree more. What upsets me is how many people get married who shouldn’t. Some men feel guilted into it, and some women just want the poofy dress and the rings and the party. Well, buy yourself a ring and you and your boyfriend or girlfriend can throw a party, but if you’re not ready for commitment, don’t do it. My husband and I got married because we love each other and we wanted to commit to each other for life, in front of God and family. A couple of friends of mine have been engaged for several years. They live together and pretty much act married. They’re not quite asexual, but they’re close. He’s looking to get a new job that won’t offer health insurance, and I asked her – how much would it cost for you to get him health insurance if you were married? She said she’d crunch the numbers to see if it would be worth it but hadn’t thought about the marriage part of their arrangement in a long time. She’s not ready for the commitment. And why should she be? Nobody should be forced into that. Amen!
this is beautiful. i wish i had thought of it. you have a kind heart and soul.
Good thoughts.
For me, “marriage” is part of a greater societal issue (or “ill?”) that revolves around the idea that absolutely everything must be neatly defined and put into a “box.” Just look at the presidential races… one of the issues is “defining marriage.” I believe it would be much healthier for people to make their own definitions… if marriage happens to be one of them, great. If not, please don’t let them be seen as deviant, or outcast. I used to outrage people by suggesting that marriage licenses should be “renewable,” like a driver’s license… you start with a 2-year “learner’s permit,” and revisit the issue every five years.
I deeply appreciate how thoughtful and thought provocative your posts are. Thank you again and again
Cool post.
that dream sounds really cool. i wonder what diamonds have to do with your energy levels though and if it could at all possibly be true. still sounds very cool.