November 8, 2007
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Xanga etiquette…
What’s a conscientious commenter to do?
Everyone has the right to edit their Xanga and be as tolerant or intolerant as they see fit. But tell me, does that make it less rude when you comment on someone’s blog in a completely respectful fashion and they delete it before the day is out because it does not agree with the views they have presented in their essay? I have rarely had reason to delete any comments to my blog. Even when the comment disagrees with what I have posted, I leave it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. The only time I delete posts is when they set out to insult, use foul langauge, or are spam.
So when I comment on someone’s Xanga in a completely respectful fashion, I don’t expect to be deleted just because I don’t agree with the poster. Personally, I think if someone’s essay does not stand up to criticism or additional information, then it’s not a very good essay. And if you don’t want people to post things that might contradict your initial post, well, just block comments, right?
So what has got me all riled up, you might ask?
Kristenmomof3 has a mostly religious blog. On October 28th, she posted a blog called Overcoming Evil wherein she connected Halloween to Paganism and the Devil. Being Pagan myself, I took a bit of offense to the Devil angle and set out to educate her. Halloween is definitely Pagan. It’s my favorite Pagan holiday among many others adopted by Christians. But it has nothing to do with the Devil, Satan, Beelzebub, or any other Christian demon. He’s an entity of Christian origin. My first comment, she deleted. It was not an offensive post, but it did disagree with her Christian-centric viewpoint on the nature of Halloween. When it disappeared, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and figured Xanga had hiccoughed. I tried to be respectful in my repost. Though I was a little offended, as I’m sure you can imagine. My repost was probably less respectful than the original, but she left that one.
Between then and now, I posted my essay on Over population, which she commented on, disagreeing with my assessment. I did not delete it, even though I do no agree with it in the least. She is entitled to her opinion though, and that’s what’s important. She didn’t cuss me out, insult me, or spam me, so I let it stand. Freedom of speech… freedom of religion. These were probably the two biggest goals in the founding of America. I respect both ideals and try to live them. I don’t sanction people for disagreeing with me, and I don’t sanction them for speaking their minds.
I had planned to reply to her comment, but since Socrates_Cafe did such a good job, I went to her site and suggest she come back and read his post. I don’t know if she did, she didn’t argue the point again. While I was at her site however, I saw a post on the word Elohim. So I commented. I figured, she deleted my first post on her other essay, but let the repost stand. So I assumed that my post on the word Elohim would be safe. Again, I was not offensive in any way. I did not use bad language, did not insult her, and it was not spam. In my opinion, those are the only reason to ever delete someone’s comment. I simply pointed out that the word Elohim is plural, like Seraphim and Cherubim. Elohim refers to gods, not God. So today, I checked over my comments and didn’t see it. She had deleted it again. I’ve reposted, but this post was much less respectful than the others, because this time I am pretty offended. One delete could have been a Xanga electro-brain-fart; I don’t think two is, especially when it hasn’t happened anywhere else but her blog.
So I’m posting this blog to get your opinions. I’m thinking of blocking her. After all, she might as well block me since she can’t bear to be contradicted in any way. I kind of find it funny that she belongs to a philosophical debate group like Socrates_cafe. I mean, she obviously doesn’t like to debate, does she? She just likes people to agree with her. No offense to any Christian readers, but this is one of the things about Christians that I hate. Hypocrisy… Oh I don’t think all Christians do it, but it’s a few bad apples that ruin the bunch. If you want respect for your beliefs, you have to give it as well. I won’t post to her site again. Why bother? Though I may still visit her site, link to her posts, and make my comment here. Or do you think that’s just mean? I’m in a mean mood. It’ll probably pass, and I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge. Actually, after this post, I probably won’t have anything more to do with her.
So what do you guys think? Should I just block her and not bother to interact with her in any way any more, or am I overreacting? I don’t like to think the worst of people, but the evidence would seem to support my assumption that she deleted my comments. If this is a Xanga problem, then why does it only happen at her site?
Edit:
She just commented on the Over Population blog that she did not delete my post and doesn’t know what happened. I don’t know that I believe it. She claims that she touched on the issue of pluralism that I commented on in her post, but I don’t see that she did. Her argument seems pretty sketchy to me, but you can read the new comment here if you haven’t already. And it still seems to be a pretty big coincidence that only the comments I’ve made on her blog have disappeared, no where else.
Comments (15)
she could just be trying to cover her tracks when it comes to being rude and obnoxious. you know argueing/debating online is just like in real life. some people try to make it appear that they have always been right no matter what was said fact or fiction in the argument/debate. i was never good at doing either though. but my entire family is good at it.
i just went and read the comments of the person you’re talking about. i saw where a few people had said that comment before yours. sounds like a few other people are of the same mind. i remember now that when i got my last bible it said “gods” in the plural form and i toldmy friend who’s very religious and goes to church that and she tried to deny it could possibly be. i tink it’s a sticky subject when you challenge what people think. they don’t want to beleive it and it threatens their “existence” in a way.
Unfortinitly people will be people, and they have the right to delete, though I agree with you. If I were you, I would just block her as well, there is no need for comments like that, it’s not positive, nor is it allowing a respectful debate. She sounds like one of those “in your face” type of people, that are not open to other points of views, and will argue just for the sake of arguing – that’s negative.
I put up blogs all the time and take them down, sometimes within hours, and usually because I judge what I have myself written or didn’t care for what I had written or what have you, but have never deleted comments. Then, too, I only like the front page visible and will take down a blog to make room for a new one. The debate which opens when one disagrees is far too interesting to have any desire to delete the alternate viewpoint or even, perhaps, to open the door to deeper knowledge.
But some people need their myths, and the deleting of contrary comments is part of that need, perhaps. For some, a challenged myth challenges their very reality and this is terrifying to them. The impulse to crush it is as crucial to preserving the myth as the myth itself. The individual in question has denied herself the opening of a good debate and an opportunity to defend her position. More, she has denied herself the gaining of a grander scope in understanding and learning. It is unfortunate and rather sad that she did not take this avenue.
Peace~
keeping in mind compassion with wisdom…
intelligently speaking,
what would the long-term versus short term consequence of blocking her be?
i’m down with building a better more harmonious world,
but she is not practicing skillful insight or form.
therefore, i’m down with blocking her.
and that is my $0.02
Hello there. Was browsing the internetisland blogring and came across your site. It’s kind of sad actually that she deleted your comments because that’s how we all learn, isn’t it? Constructive, respectful debate….If she’s in a philosophy debate ring, then she should expect that. If she simply wants everyone to agree with her, she should stick to the strictly Christian blogrings.
It would certainly be understandable to block her since it doesn’t seem that she’ll be opening her mind up anytime soon. And what’s the use of trying to argue with individuals like that?
I would follow your intuition on this one. Take into consideration whether or not she offers any critical insight when she comments on your blog. You could always post a comment linked to her entry at the bottom of one of yours if you believe that she would just delete it. She can’t touch your entries, isn’t that a beautiful thing. Either way, I wouldn’t stop commenting on other’s essays, that’s what helps to keep people open-minded and question themselves, therefore building better arguements and seeing issues through more than one lense. RYC: Thank you for your comment. It was very much appreciated. I enjoyed reading your entry today, I like the way you think. I think I like you
Oh yeah, you’ve also reminded me to watch Dogma. I have never seen it but I recall having it recommended to me more than once. Thanks for the reminder!!
i think everyone to a certain extent is hypocritical. we all try not to be though. who would want to be known to be a hypocrit? my parents are trying to do what’s best for me… trying to lead me in the best direction that they see for me. However I want something else many a times and I do not look forward much. I have the bad habit of looking backwards or not looking at all. They look towards my future and I usually do not see a future I wish to be in. *hince my depressive state most of the time though i try to hide it*
i am feeling much better now. i started to think about it and my cough might not even be from the cold. when i have too much caffine i cough a lot more than normal. and im thinking the cough syrup might have caffine in it as well as the tea i’ve been drinking (bad habit as well).
I agree with you 100%. Generally the “debates” go around in circles with nothing ever being accomplished rather than to raise your blood pressure. And that’s why I’ve decided to stop watching them. They only ever make me angry so what’s the point. And yes, I think to some extent they’re used to distract from the real issues.
I don’t know, Candace. I may be more lenient than most folk, but since she knows you are aware there is a problem (on her end or Xanga’s), it might be worth it to give her one more chance to see where it goes.
As far as my intuition though…
it seems to be running in the same creek bed yours is.
I thank you for your comment about the aspirin, tylenol, advil switch up. I think that may work. And i have the peppermint oil thing “somewhere”..cant find it of course. I moved a month or so ago….so everything is lost til found. Or in a storage space….anyway…thanks!
I totally agree with what you wrote about Christians not liking contradictory opinions. Again, NOT ALL Christians are like that, but there are a number of them that give the rest a reputation for it. I personally have nothing against any religion whatsoever, but I do get all up in arms when, if in a conversation or in a blog post, I pose a contradictory (but not rude) comment, the person flys off the handle or, in your case, deletes my comment. This is a blog, people. If you don’t want people to comment on what you’ve posted, disable comments. Plain and simple.
By the way, thanks for subscribing to me!
Oh, and I see that you’ve visited I Can Has Cheezburger! Gotta love that site! =)