April 27, 2008

• Fear and Loathing as Diversity Wanes

  I have decided to quit the gym since I only manage to get there about once a week, if that. Since I plan on going back to school in the fall, I can use the gym there for “free.” But currently I am paying $29 for a service I may only use four times in a month.
  
  I am a terrible procrastinator… I often wait to the last minute to pay bills and not because I don’t have the money. I just put off writing the checks to the last minute. Well, I’m not procrastinating on school. I just sent off a request for an admissions counselor, so the ball’s in their court. Hopefully they’re not procrastinators too, and I’ll get a call tomorrow to set up an appointment. I need to know if I’m still eligible for grants and financial aid since I used them last time to get my associates in liberal arts. I do not want to take out loans if I can help it. I hate spending money I don’t have.
  
  I keep saying I want to open my own bookstore… but I never actually Do anything about it. So… now I’m doing something about it. I don’t figure things can go on at Borders like they have been. I just feel… very insecure about my future there (or anywhere that I have to depend on someone else for my livelihood really). I’d rather depend upon me. At least I know if I let myself down, I only have myself to blame. I hate having to wait on corporate to tell me to do something that’s already obvious. Worse, I hate when corporate tells us to do something which is totally insane… like when they tell me to put up a display of books which we haven’t received yet, are not slated to receive ever, or which have a release date far in advance of the date they want them displayed. I really and honestly don’t think they have any idea what they are doing half the time. If any of them ever did an honest day’s work in their lives, it was a long time ago. Now they just push papers and get ideas into their heads which are pure fantasy. I just don’t have any respect for them. I don’t think they’d know how to do my job if they had to or that they respect the work that I do. I’m all for pulling together and working as a team and everyone has their job to do… but frankly, I don’t know what it is that they do aside from telling me what to do, and they don’t even do that very well.
  
  It’s not that I don’t like working at Borders. I love it. I’ve never been happier at any job… my boss is the best boss I’ve ever had (though I have had some really, Really bad jobs in my life, so I may be biased). Most of the people I work with are wonderful non-conformists. But I hate some of the policies handed down from on high… like no talking about religion or politics… or no hair dyed “unnatural colors” and no visible tattoos. Well, the last two are only in the cafe, but we try to be considerate of the barristas’ feelings and have a show of solidarity. I don’t have any tattoos though that’s not to say I might not get one or more some day. I’ve actually been thinking of getting a dragon on the back of my neck, just below my hairline. I wanted a rose in the palm of my hand at one time, but the tattoo artists all said that it would be unethical to put a tattoo there since the hand sees so much wear. I really wouldn’t mind green hair either. It’s always been my favorite color… and what’s more natural than green?? heh
  
  And I absolutely hate the fact that we can’t tell bad customers when they’re bad or put them in their place when they’re behaving badly. Half the problem with customer service is that customers get away with acting like spoiled brats and businesses are too afraid to “lose customers” if they don’t capitulate. A customer who is happy will supposedly tell one or two other people, while the myth goes that an unhappy customer will tell approximately ten others how unhappy they were. Personally, I’d rather not have that kind of customer, let alone ten more just like them. So I’d have no problem with a miserable customer who told ten of their miserable friends not to shop in my store. So much the better if I don’t have to put them in their place too. lol
  
  But what really gets my goat is the taboo placed on political and religious discussion. As I’ve said before, making any subject taboo only invites ignorance. I strive to be as open-minded and informed as possible.  Not only do restrictions placed on discussion increase ignorance, they also play right into the hands of our leaders who have come to value an uninformed populace. In what has come to be called the age of information, I still find that most people (in the meat world) are woefully uninformed. It’s disturbing and disheartening. With all the information available to us, there are still so few that make the effort to assimilate it. Our Latin name is Homo Sapiens Sapiens… man the wise, the wise. We think so highly of our intelligence that we have to make much of it, twice. Why then do so few people make use of the intelligence they’re born with? Sad, sad, sad. We should be called Homo lectus tuberosum…. Man the couch potato. Eh… I think you can tell I am not overly impressed with our species. lol
  
  Beyond that… I really think the business decisions Borders has been making lately are questionable. People are still asking us if we’re closing, and I can’t blame them. All our shelves are loose and floppy because they keep telling us to send more and more books, CDs, and DVDs back to the distributors. The only thing we’re getting quantity of are books that have been on some show or another and so have been advertised. And everything that’s been advertised is all the same kind of stuff. There’s no diversity. They want us all to look the same, all the books to be the same, all the music and movies to be socially acceptable…. I feel like I am being smothered by a conspiracy of conformity. Considering one of the “selling points” when I became employed by Borders was their “pledge to diversity,” I’m starting to feel somewhat betrayed. I’m not just worried about my job, but everyone else’s too.
  
  You know… I don’t usually last much more than three years at any job, and I’ve been at Borders almost five. I keep feeling like something is going to happen that makes me leave, one way or another. Usually the problem is a combination of boredom and dissatisfaction with how I am treated, but I am treated fairly well by my immediate boss and who could be bored at a bookstore?
  
  
  

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  April 27th
  

  
  The Floralia begins tonight.

  
  

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  The farmers of the Bambara tribe in Mali honor Tyi Wara, a mythical figure, half man and half beast with song and dance. It is that Tyi Wara was sent down to Earth by the gods of nature in order to teach human beings the necessary skills of farming.

  • 5:00 pm
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