Would you rather live in a land where it is forever night time or forever daytime?
bethhhhhhh

Last night (or was it this morning), I had a dream that I was at my dad’s house, back when he had a trailer up in the mountains with horses and cats and many other animals. I was out in the horse pen, looking up at the sky which was broken apart by clouds that looked like dabs of paint from a brush. They were a whitish-pinkish-silverish-gold color. The sky seemed to be literally cracked between the clouds. Between most of the clouds, which seemed to be the only real piece of the sky (or painting), there was a clear blue sky the color of a robin’s egg. But here and there between some of the other clouds were large chunks of starscape. It was as if the clouds had been shattered to reveal a membrane of blue and in places that blue membrane had also broken to reveal the stars. The clouds and blue sky were beautiful in their vividness, but the starscape is what made the image so memorable.

I was born at night, at exactly 9:33 PM. You could say that my very first “day” began at night and so I’ve always been a little bass ackwards with regards to my days and nights. I have always preferred the night to day. I would rather stay up all night till dawn than get up at or before dawn. If I am forced to get up early in the morning before my internal alarm goes off, I’m ready to crash by 3. If I am allowed to wake naturally, I get up around 9:30-10 am and am perfectly capable of being physically active to well past midnight. When I used to get insomnia really bad as a teen, I was known to start rearranging furniture at 3 AM.

For me, the nighttime is the best time of the day because there are fewer people about. It is quiet and serene. The nighttime is the best time for an empath to be awake because everyone else is asleep. Their emotions are dull and dissolute and have less impact than waking emotions. Sleeping during the day is to be preferred because then you are largely oblivious to the emotions around you.

I like the day well enough. The clouds are beautiful and the birds, and there are many other sites to draw you in. But the nighttime is more comfortable, physically and emotionally. There are no harsh lights to hurt the eyes or loud noises to make you flinch. Most people are sleeping and so are not bothering me. I prefer the moon and stars to the sun and clouds, darkness to light, silence to noise….

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating everyone switch to a life oriented around the night. I’m happy that most people prefer the day. The nighttime is my time. I don’t want to share.

The Rustic Vinalia was a wine festival kept by the Romans on April 23 and today. Offerings were made for the ripening grapes to Venus, who as goddess of gardens was also guardian of vineyards and Olive groves. At this time, a temple was dedicated to Venus and gardens were set apart for her, and the kitchen gardeners went on holiday.

So… have I got a story for you!

Last night I was kneeling in the history section, alphabetizing (I work in a Borders), when this 40ish guy comes looming over me and blurted something incomprehensible. It took me three times before I figured out he was saying something about his father.

“Do what to your father now?” I asked, thinking he was looking for his dad but not sure because he was running all his words together.

“Do you know my father?” Fourth time’s the charm apparently.

“Um, no? Who is he?” I asked.

But instead of answering, he launched into a rant… “My father is following me around and telling people bad stories about me.”

I hope he does not come back. I hope he doesn’t search any of my tags and find my blog! lol

Chapter 1.1 in which Glory is not mindful of the store
Chapter 1.2 in which Glory is made to do something she would really rather not
Chapter 1.3 in which Glory thinks she might be sick
Chapter 1.4 in which Aaron makes a mistake
Chapter 1.5 in which Glory is made to see the error of her ways
Chapter 1.6 in which the circle remains unbroken

Chapter 2.1 in which Aaron makes another mistake
Chapter 2.2 in which Glory reflects on her path
Chapter 2.3 in which we learn Aaron is not really a nice boy
Chapter 2.4 in which Glory speculates on the holiness of salt
Chapter 2.5 in which Glory learns of the necessity for upper body strength, but makes do with  what she has
Chapter 2.6 in which Aaron tries to make amends, but is still pretty much an ass

Chapter 3.1 in which Glory is spat on, twice
Chapter 3.2 in which a cop is threatened
Chapter 3.3 in which someone is crying
Chapter 3.4  in which there’s more to the moon than meets the eye

The Roman feast of Diana in her aspect as a huntress was celebrated today. According to one tradition, she mated with Rex Nemorensis, king of the wood, to let the earth bring forth fruit.

Unconditional Love

Do
you know it? Have you experienced it either giving or receiving? Tell
us about what you think it is … how you obtain or achieve it! Do
believe it is possible?  Discuss it ~ won’t you?

Make it silly or sad – serious or sappy – a song, poem, picture; it’s your post, it’s up to you!~

When I was much younger than I am now…. way back in grade school (I feel so old)… I came to the conclusion that I would never be loved. Well, my family never really seems to have much use for me, even back then. I come from a “broken home,” and even now that I’m 34 my childhood affects me. Your past is inescapable. It not only shapes who you become, it never leaves you even if you manage to transmute the experience into something else. It’s always there, coloring all that you experience later, so that sometimes you see things other people can’t and sometimes making you blind to things they can. It’s really hard to say which vision is the illusion sometimes. Maybe both are and reality is what you make of it. Still your reactions to perceived experiences are experiences in and of themselves, so I suppose it’s moot.

My father was a horrible person. I sympathize with his past. I know his childhood was not easy. But I can admit without hate that he was not a good person. He did terrible things to my mother and to me and my sister. When my mother finally left him, she left us with our grandmothers while she went on a kind of soul-searching tour of America. Our father promptly came for us, as was his right according to the law since there were no formal hearings to determine custody of us. I was three and my sister was one and a half. But he didn’t come because we were his children and he loved us. In fact, we were possessions to him, nothing more. He came and took us because he could. He didn’t have the time or inclination to care for us, so he placed us in foster care where I was abused. The only thing I know for sure is that they ripped out half my hair there when I didn’t want to go Church (even then I was a little Heathen I guess). I am still very sensitive about people touching my hair.

My mother says that when she came back, I was not the same little girl. I was angry and mistrustful. That’s obviously understandable considering what I’d been through. If I was not before, my experiences made me a very solitary, reserved child. I watched people. I was careful and withdrawn in how I interacted with people. I was shy. This is exactly the kind of thing that gets you label as a weirdo in Elementary school. To this day, I am still very careful with people I do not know.

I didn’t have any friends in school. I was bullied pretty much from day one. It came to a momentary lull in the fourth grade when I broke the biggest bully’s nose with a thrown math book. She never picked on me again, but that didn’t stop others. When I moved on to the Jr high school, it started all over again…. later coming to a head when I was “lynched” by a mob of some of my longtime bullies and their friends. The school and the police did nothing. If anything, it taught me to trust people even less. What little trust I had for “authority figures” and my mother pretty much went out the window. No one cared about me. That was the conclusion I came to. I had no friends, no one cared enough to protect me, and I could look forward to a life alone. The end.

Having no one to talk to, I did a lot of thinking. At first, I really hated everyone. I hated them for rejecting me. I hated them for not loving me. I blamed people for my alienation, and I resented them. What had I ever done to deserve to be treated so badly? Why didn’t my mother love me the way she obvious cared about my sister and my little brother, child of a second marriage (that ended even worse than the first if you can believe it). Then I decided it was their loss. I was more worthy than they were even if they couldn’t see it. I loathed them and had nothing but contempt for my whole species. If evil alien overlords had arrived at that point, I probably would have cheered. (I still feel that the human race is largely unworthy of the beauty and bounty of our planet, but that’s neither here nor there.)

It finally occurred to me that I could hate everyone and be just like them, or I could try to be better than the people who had hurt me. I mean, if I went around hating everyone, how did that invalidate the way I had been treated? It came to me that I might never be loved, but hating for that reason just me letting them make me what they thought I should be. Never been a fan of “them” or “they” or what “Other people” say. And I sure didn’t want to be in any way shaped by “them.”

So it started with me trying to forgive the people closest to me, which I have been pretty successful in doing. It’s taken me years, but as much as they’ve hurt me and continue to hurt me, I don’t hate them for it. I love them very much and try to forgive them every time they do something thoughtless or selfish. They don’t know any better. I can just give them my love until they understand what they’re doing. Maybe they never will. The same goes for people I meet every day. I’m not saying I don’t get angry, but I try not to hold a grudge. I don’t hate anyone, not any more. That’s what other people do.

Tailte’s Day honors a Celtic goddess of competition. Games of skill and endurance similar to the Greek Olympics were once held annually in Ireland in early to mid-August.

Some of you may recall a while back the saga of my evil-micromanager and how she finally quit under a cloud of infamy (she was suspected of having an affair with one of our coworkers). At the time, one of my coworkers put in for her job and I had a dream that seemed to indicate he would get it. It told him about it and shortly after, he got the position. But because it was over the holidays, they made him “acting” manager until they could get him trained. Then, once the holidays were through, they revealed that they had another person in mind for the position, and he was SOL.

She wasn’t a bad manager, so we all tolerated her. No bad feelings. My coworker who had wanted the position was a bit miffed, but he’s a good guy. He didn’t hold it against her. It wasn’t her fault he was pretty much promised the job and then had the rug pulled out from under him.

Turns out, a position opened up closer to her home and she’s transfering out in a week. So my coworker will have her position (again) and this time it’s all guaranteed, in writing; he will have this position. They can’t/won’t take it from him a second time (or he’s threatened to quit).

I haven’t decided whether to bring up that dream I had again or not. My witchy ways kind of freak him out a little, but I like teasing him. He’s like a obnoxious little brother I can torment. He’s the one who said he wasn’t sure if he should be in awe of me or afraid when he found out I hexed our nasty sniper coworker who quit a month later without notice. Ah… my work-life is a witchy soap opera. lol

In other news, I sent my webnovel to a networking site called the Web Fiction Guide. It basically lists any and all fiction being “published” online. Some of you might like it if you’re looking for something to read. It’s really great. I’ve already found several interesting writers whose serialized work I can add to the list of stuff I read online. All I ask is that, if you surf on over, you rate my webnovel! lol So far my webnovel is “not yet rated,” and it’s been up for three days. That just cannot stand! lol My webnovel also got “blogged” just like Xanga introduce Blogged a couple months ago here. They gave my webnovel a 7.0 which is “very good.” If any of you read Tattoo, feel free to give me a better indication of what you think of my work. Hey, I don’t mind being “very good,” but I’d definitely prefer being “Excellent!” lol

Not that any or many of you are near enough to join, but September’s selected novel for my horror book club is Phantom of the Opera. It’s one of my favorite novels, and I’m looking forward to rereading it and also introducing others in the group to this great book. So far, I am the only one in the group who has read it and that’s just sad. The book is just so much better than any of the film or stage adaptations. It’s something that everyone should read at least once. So if you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for??

The Dog Days of Summer finally end.

Diana’s chief festival was called the Festival of Candles or Torches. Her groves shone with a multitude of torches on this day. This day is still celebrated as a Festival of Candles, but the Church now claims it for the Virgin Mary.

I am slightly sickish today. I was slightly more sickish yesterday. The end of the month can’t come fast enough. I hope the doctor has some ideas or is willing to get blood work done on me (and doesn’t just tell me to reschedule to do so). I hate doctors generally because they can never seem to get everything done all at once. No, you have to keep coming back and paying another fee to get a little work done and then come back again with another fee for another little bit of work. I don’t trust them… it seems like they just want you to keep coming back so they can extract a fee from you. Dentists are most notorious for that in my experience, but general practitioners and gynecologists too. I’ve been to this doctor I have an appointment with before, and she was very nice, but that doesn’t mean I trust her not to gouge me. Still, she’s the closest thing I have to a “family doctor.” Hopefully she has some idea on what’s wrong with me and therefore how to fix me. Lately I am tired (which may just be due to my giving up caffeine), but also I am nauseous. I force myself to eat, but a half hour or so later I am nauseous again. It’s to the point where I can’t tell if I’m nauseous because I’m hungry, or just nauseous. I have a pain in my abdomen, which I at first thought was cramping from my extended bout of bleeding, but since I’ve stopped bleeding, it’s still there… this stabbing, burning pain every so often. Hernia, appendicitis, urinary tract infection, kidney stone, cancer… who knows? Maybe this is all stress related from work. Or maybe I’m just a hypochondriac, and I talk myself into things with unrelated symptoms. Lately I feel like all I do is complain about my health.

It would be wonderful if someone was there to take care of me, but I haven’t got anyone. This question assumes that a woman’s only goal in life is finding a husband to support her. Just like when I worked at the bank and the other women was shocked that I wasn’t interested in finding a man to marry me and knock me up. I wouldn’t want to find a companion just for the sole purpose of having a meal ticket. How horrible. If men and women were paid equally, this question wouldn’t even be relevant. Even though I never intend to marry, a marriage should be a partnership of equal contributions. In the rare instance that the woman makes more than the man, should the man only work to make spending money? The thing is, people should do what makes them happy. I don’t think there are a lot of women who could be happy as a “June Cleaver” type any more. Just like men, women need something to occupy their time, to stimulate their intellect. Any one who says they’d be happy being taken care of is either lying or lazy. I think that is one of the reasons why couples who win the lottery usually don’t last. They get the money to do whatever they want and they quit their jobs and run out of things to do that make them happy. They don’t have goals any more.

Of course, in my case, I wouldn’t mind having someone willing to devote themselves to my care and be concerned if I am actually ill, but I don’t think I could give up my independence in the way the question above implies. It’s over five decades since such a sentiment could have been justified in any way.

Sigh… Even asexuals long for close companionship… just not the sex. I’d love to have someone to love and support me. It’s not like I can expect much support from my family. Where oh where are all the asexual boys hiding? It’s hard to find a boyfriend when you’re in a 1% sexual minority. :-/ I think I am just feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Wanting someone to pity you and take care of you is not enough to base a relationship on. You need to also want to take care of them and be concerned with their needs. Mostly, I just don’t think anyone cares about my needs, and I can’t wrap my mind around the idea that anyone ever could or would.

A Day of Peace between Horus and Set follows the day of their battle.

If the Internet closed down tomorrow… I would loose my mind!!!

No, seriously. I’d no longer have an outlet for my insanity. That would be very bad for all the flesh and blood people I must deal with every day because they would become the recipients of my banter… not that they’re not already, but I get most of it out of my system before dealing with the general public. Most people already think I’m nuts in the RW, but if the internet disappeared tomorrow… the next day someone would probably have me committed.

There’s also the added fact that, if the internet disappeared tomorrow, it’d be like I lost half my brain. Sure I read a whole heck of a lot of books, but I read a lot on the internet too. Half the weird crap that comes out of my mouth comes from the internet. In all likelihood, I’d still be plenty smart, but I wouldn’t be current. Since I rarely watch tv and never the news (too depressing), the internet is my main source of information concerning our current leader-type people (though I’m of the opinion that they couldn’t lead their way out of a paper bag even if it was poked full of holes). I think I actually might be kind of boring without the internet… I can’t imagine crawling back into the shell I wore when I was in school… when I hardly ever spoke to anyone, sometimes for days, weeks, months on end. I think I outgrew that shell, and the internet helped me do it. Heh, all the psychologists trying drug people up with their “social anxiety” cures on the comercials should just suggest people go online to bolster their self esteem. If you look around long enough, you’re bound to find a home or three for yourself online.

Am I the same person online that I am in the RW? Yes and no. The real me exists online. The me that still hides a bit behind a facade so I don’t scare the norms lives in the RW. I’m still not quite normal when I’m interacting with people in the RW, but I try to be careful of their delicate sensibilities. Mostly. I do still scare people sometimes, but I swear it’s not intentional. o.0 Promise! o.- hehe Mostly…. Actually, what most people probably find most disturbing about me is that I don’t fit nicely into any group. They can’t figure me out because I do make the attempt to “fit in.” All of you here probably have a much easier time of it since I don’t pull my punches or pretend to be something I’m not when I’m online. The only time I tell people “the truth as I see it” in the RW is when I like them. If I don’t like them, I don’t even make the effort to put them more in tune with reality.

According to the Mayans, the universe began today in the year 3114 BC. Our world is scheduled to end on December 23rd, 2012 at which time we will be freed from our earthly bonds to begin a galactic, though somewhat cataclysmic, voyage.

On the day of the foundation of Diana’s temple in Rome, the slaves had a holiday. This was also considered her birthday. Women whose prayers had been answered made a torchlight procession to the grove of Diana at Aricia. The Goddess’s aid was invoked to turn storms which might injure the coming harvest. The largest temple to Diana was in the Aventine, founded by Servius Tullius. The Greeks honored Hecate on this day.

The Carmenae are Roman Goddesses identified since Livius Andronicus with the Muses. They seem to be water deities however with a grove and spring outside the Porta Capena. From this spring, the Vestals drew water daily. There was also a little shrine of bronze and dedicated by Numa. Libation was made to them with milk and water.

Isis gained the Horns of Hathor today. This day is also the date of the battle between Horus and Set.

The Church of Wicca was founded in Australia by Lady Tamara Von Forslon in 1989.

For once I decided to answer a featured question because I am rather tired and can make fun of this…

I guess I’d have to found a new religion because it would either be immaculate conception or aliens. lol Either that, or parthenogenesis, and I’m not sure that I’d like to be the first human to reproduce asexually, even though I do consider myself asexual. I’d rather not be the center of a scientific study or suddenly find myself put on a pedestal by militant women’s libers. lol  

Hope that was entertaining for you or at least taught you a new word.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Now I’m going to bed before I keel over.

The Lychnapsia or Lignapsia, “Festival of Lights” or “The Lights of Isis,” is part of the Osirian mysteries, celebrating Isis’ quest for her spouse in the darkness by torchlight. This became a Christian holy day dedicated to St. Clare, considered the first person to practice the total poverty of St. Francis of Assisi.  This is also the Day of Sekhmet’s repulsion of Set.

Felicitas, a goddess of good luck, was honored in Rome. She is associated with Venus Victrix, Honos and Virtus.

Answer any one or all of these questions in the coming
week. I try to mix the whimsical with the serious here, so hopefully
there is at least one question here for everyone.

Since 830 AD the Perseid meteor shower has been documented, appearing every year. It takes its name from the constellation Perseus where shooting stars appear and is associated with the Swift-Tuttle Comet.

Swift-Tuttle’s orbit has been traced back nearly 2,000 years and is now thought to be the same comet that was observed in 188 AD and possibly even as early as 69 BC. Back in the early 1990s, astronomer Brian Marsden calculated that Swift-Tuttle might actually hit Earth in the year 2026. More observations quickly eliminated all possibility of collision, but he said that the comet and Earth might experience a cosmic near miss (about a million miles) in 3044.

Chapter 1.1 in which Glory is not mindful of the store
Chapter 1.2 in which Glory is made to do something she would really rather not
Chapter 1.3 in which Glory thinks she might be sick
Chapter 1.4 in which Aaron makes a mistake
Chapter 1.5 in which Glory is made to see the error of her ways
Chapter 1.6 in which the circle remains unbroken

Chapter 2.1 in which Aaron makes another mistake
Chapter 2.2 in which Glory reflects on her path
Chapter 2.3 in which we learn Aaron is not really a nice boy
Chapter 2.4 in which Glory speculates on the holiness of salt
Chapter 2.5 in which Glory learns of the necessity for upper body strength, but makes do with  what she has
Chapter 2.6 in which Aaron tries to make amends, but is still pretty much an ass