This morning, I was awoken by my mother banging on the wall we share with our neighbor because apparently their water heater broke and was gushing water, water which was filling up our basement. This was at 5:30 or so. Our basement is sealed, but theirs is not. So when it rains, and their basement leaks, we still get a flood. She banged on the wall and yelled for a good half hour (this was after knocking on their door and ringing the bell).
My neighbors are ignorant (in more ways than being dead to the world when they are sleeping). They are loud and indifferent to the fact that the wall we share has no insulation. We hear everything they do over there. We know that the husband left the wife for “spending all his money on alcohol and pot,” and we know she’s up half the night either talking on the phone (loudly) or hanging out on the porch or inside with friends, partying. We know, half the time when her kids are visiting from their father’s, that they don’t get up till 10am or later (it’s quarter after 10 now) and that they miss more school than they attend. In all likelihood, she will be busted for truancy, if she hasn’t been already, maybe for neglect, and maybe for the drugs and alcohol.
What’s my point? I would like to say that I forgive and forget, but in this instance, I can’t. She hasn’t done anything specifically to me, by I find her very existence an affront to my existence. This isn’t just a case of me assuming I know better and adopting a self-righteous attitude; she’s not just a bad neighbor, she’s a bad mother. She doesn’t seem to care about her kids, not at all. I’m thinking the only reason she takes them for visits is to get out of some child payments or to hurt their dad. If she’s staying up all night, she’s not really spending time with them during the day.
Mostly I am able to forgive most anyone for most anything. I never forget; forgetting a wrong is just stupid. You need to remember so that you can be prepared when/if it happens again. If you never forgive, a person can never be any better than they’ve shown themselves to be, and that’s not fair. Forgiveness is easy. Forgetting is impossible. No one can do it unless they’ve got amnesia.
But what my neighbor is doing is going to affect more than our basement. Her kids are going to grow up and think that this kind of behavior is acceptable. What she is doing is perpetuating her bad habits on another generation. What she is doing is ensuring her kids will never rise above the gutter she dwells in. I’m sorry. I can’t forgive someone when they won’t even admit there’s something wrong. And really, it’s not my place to forgive her. She hasn’t wronged me beyond annoying the heck out of me when I’m trying to sleep. I just hope her kids are smarter than they’ve shown themselves to be.
It’s now after 10:30. Whenever they finally wake up next door, they’ll discover that their water has been turned off by the city because that’s what my mother had to do to save our furnace from being flooded. The water was a good 8 inches when we caught it. In all likelihood, when our neighbors finally do get up, they will not be grateful for the fact that we probably saved them money from further water damage. There will be much cursing and yelling and banging of things. There will not be a thank you. In fact, if anything they will blame us for their lack of water. I cannot forgive this… lack of good grace. I am tired of making excuses for the asses of the world. Ignorance is something I cannot forgive. Ignorant people need to grow up and stop forcing other people to take care of their messes.
Comments (5)
Forgive, but never forget.
I think some people get so lost that they just exist in a bubble of their own lostness. It is rather tragic, really, and the worst part is, that these type of lost people seep into the cracks of the peaceful existence of everyone surrounding them. One thing is for certain, such static is difficult, if not nearly impossible, to tolerate.
I suppose, in the end, forgiveness is just letting go of it, but the wisdom would be in learning from the situation and not allowing the trespass to recur. If things become too outrageous, I’d consider a freezing sort of spell, and maybe they would do the neighbourhood a favour and move away.
Blessings~
I’m a very forgiving person, almost to a fault. Your neighbor’s behavior is not forgivable because it is absolutely wrong and she’s not sorry for it or trying to change it. I forgive those who are sorry or who didn’t mean it or whatever. I forget more than I would like to, but I don’t make a point of it.
I hear you loud and clear. Our neighbors overflow from their sewage drain ran over and dumped into my driveway and backyard. They didn’t come to tell us but we could hear them yelling and complaining about having to turn the water off. SInce it wasn’t draining into their yard they didn’t turn it off.I went outside and sewage was gushing under the fence. I called the city guys and they just came and looked at it, fixed the neighbors problem then left. I called again and they finally sent a guy to scrape the drive and hose down the backyard. Bad neighbors are just that. We try to over compensate for them. I smile and sing happy loud songs by the fence. Drives them crazy! Hee Hee Whaaaahahaha.
I could not agree with you more. No, you shouldn’t forgive that woman; there’s really no excuse for that kind of behavoir. In fact, I would plotting ways to get her out of that house as quickly as possible. Terrible.