December 11, 2008
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Is that so wrong??
It hardly matters… when the water’s polluted!
I’m not a pessimist or an optimist, but then the question’s whether I’m a realist or a smart ass.
Lately whenever I sit down at the computer I start getting sleepy. I wonder if the internet is trying to hypnotize me. More likely I am just exhausted.
I had a “fight” with my stepdad the other day. I’d had four hours sleep thanks to work, the neighbors, and my nephew. He asked me about my car and I said I didn’t know anything. He took it the wrong way, started ranting about how I hate him and he was just trying to be nice and I tell him to the F_ off, which I did not. In the first place, I don’t use that kind of language, and secondly, I’m tired. I’m so… frikkin… tired. I don’t want to talk about my car or any other stupid thing that requires thought.But you know what….? I gave him what he wanted. I told him “F_ off. Go to H_. You’re an ass.” Because you know what, that’s what he wants. He always talks about himself like he’s such a victim and everyone is out to get him.
OK, so I don’t like him, but he’s married to my mom now so I have to try to get along with him. But if I’m operating on four hours sleep and he’s starts whining about my tone… when I’m too exhausted to even have a frikkin’ tone, then I’m just going to give in and say what he wants to hear… what he believes everyone thinks.
Is that wrong? I think it got through to him that I was being absurd by saying those things because they’re not the things I say to anyone. And I said it with no inflection. I might have been reading the phrases from an index card. Then I went to my room. I have zero shielding right now from ignorant people. Being an empath in retail sucks, but it sucks all the more during the holidays.I don’t know. I feel like I’m going to have psychotic break at work, and then I come home and have to deal with my stepdad, the victim. I almost wish that j-ass customer who grabbed me at work would do it again so I could go postal on him, get fired, and sue the company for wrongful termination.
Is that wrong??
December 10th (yesterday)
Lux Mundi, Light of the World, honors the goddess Liberty in France.
The Inuit celebrate the Bladder festival today. To propitiate the souls of the animals they have killed during the year, they undergo a five day purification ritual in a special building called a kashim with the inflated bladders of all the animals they had killed that year. Under the full moon at the end of the five days, the men cut holes in the sea ice about a quarter mile from the shore to dispose of the inflated bladders. After leaping through the flames of a bonfire awaiting them in the village upon their return, they return to the kashim for a final sweat bath and contests of strength.
December 11th (today)
This is the Day of Bruma in the Roman tradition.
Comments (4)
Well, if it was what he wanted then he should be a happy camper for a while. It’s hard to have an adult conversation with people who live in victim mode. Anyone can be a victim, it’s the person who makes the decision whether or not to be one.
As my grandpa use to say: He can get glad in the same pants he got mad in.
You had very little sleep and if he can’t get past his own pity me syndrome then it’s his problem and not yours.
That could help you get online quicker…
He sounds like a baby. Like you’re supposed to spend your every waking moment caring about what he’s feeling, waa waa waa. Don’t let him suck all your energy away; you need it.
“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” I have the bumper sticker in my house that says those words. Breathe deep.
He’ll likely get over it, just be sure to send him a friendly Christmas card. Take care