February 18, 2009
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WCFQ 36b: When Conformity isn’t
Conformity is not often a conscious thing. We seldom realize we’re conforming unless it’s brought to our attention. Labels exist due to the number of a people who belong to a specific archetype and if you can label yourself with an archetype, you are conforming even if it is not your intent. Jock, nerd, outcast, princess, criminal, etc… even if you don’t consciously belong to a groups, if you asked someone, I’m sure that they could come up with at least one label for you. Even choosing not to conform, you fall into the categories of anarchist or rebel. In effect, you can choose not to conform to one stereotype with the understanding that you will immediately fall into company with other stereotypes. Stereotypes exist because you fit into or are made to fit into a group. The only choice you have is whether you take comfort in the association or not. Me, I love being a nerd and to some extent I’ve been labeled a Goth. I’m something of a book and music snob. I’m a Pagan, witch, and environmentalist. I’m a vegetarian socialist. These are groups that I self-identify with. They are more or less in a similar vein, that is… liberal.I don’t have to consciously conform to them in order to be a part of them. Some people might not approve of the categories I find myself identifying with, but I’m not asking them to conform to my ideals. I’m not choosing to conform or not to conform. Either one, I think takes effort. Conformity, or lack there of, is an illusion. Even as you are labeled one thing, you might still fit into half a dozen other categories, some of them contradictory. The only time conformity is a dirty word is when you go against your own nature to belong to or distance your self from a group. Then you are not so much conforming as you are denying who you are. If on the other hand, you don’t like who you are or who people say you are, you’re not really choosing to conform. It’s being thrust upon you. Choosing not to conform then becomes a quest to find yourself rather than an attempt to conform to a different standard than what you are already perceived to be.
Look at it this way. As soon as you agree with something, you’re conforming. If you choose not to agree, you’re not conforming. Choosing not to conform remains a lack of conformity, until you find something with which you can agree. Until you find that group that upholds the counter argument as their standard, you remain a nonconformist.
February 18th
The Zoroastrian festival of Spenta Armaiti Spandarmat, the Festival of Cultivators or Festival of Women, is a Persian festival.
Copernicus (b.1473) was called a fool for his claims that the earth revolved around the sun.
On the sixth day of the Parentalia and beginning of Feralia, offerings are left at the tombs. The souls of the dead are appeased with small gifts brought to the extinguished pyres. The dead value piety more than any costly gift. Such gifts might include a tile wreathed with votive garlands, a sprinkling of corn, a few grains of salt, bread soaked in wine, or some loose violets. These offerings are set on a potsherd in the middle of the road, and prayers and the appropriate words are said at hearths set up for the purpose.
From this time until the 21st, Tacita, the silent Goddess (Dea Muta) is honored. She is also called Lara, mother of the Lares. She is asked to bind hostile speech and unfriendly words.
Comments (11)
Why the picture of the cast of The Breakfast Club, I wonder?
Living with a teenager, I have noticed that these teenagers tend to travel in groups, and that within these groups they all… look… the same. It’s really weird. Like, my little bro had his harem staying over at house for the weekend, and they had the exact same shade of red hair and dressed exactly the same. I couldn’t tell one from the other, in all honesty.
When I was teenager, I didn’t look or dress like anyone else. Of course, I was kind of misanthropic when I was teen…. No, wait, I take that back; I did try to dress like someone–Morticia Adams. lol
Okay. Now I have a really big decision to make.
@heidenkind - That’s so funny! I had a friend tell me once that I looked like Morticia Adams. Not that I dressed like her but that my facial features were a lot like Carolyn Jones.
I don’t see it.
@heidenkind - I didn’t dress or act like anyone in school either. Of course, I was also pretty misanthropic. I had my own style. At one point I painted my jeans. Everyone made fun of me for it. Then about a month later is was a style in Paris. (I should have sued! lol) I also drew all over my sneakers. Now that’s a style too. It just goes to show that I was always ahead of my time.
As for your brother’s harem… they say that “mimicry” is the sincerest form of flattery. Personally, I think your brother is dating clones or pod people.
@Broom_Service - hmmm, I was always more of a Wednesday. lol
That sounds similar to that one line in Nick and Norah, “I don’t assign myself to any label” (or something along those lines. I didn’t like the movie enough to remember the exact quote, lol). There was a post that pretty much said “Rejecting labels means that you fall in with the other group of people who don’t assign themselves…it’s an endless cycle of non-conforming people who, despite themselves, conform anyway.” lol
@Madoushi_Shoujo - There are a select group of people who defy description and who you wouldn’t be able to label if they didn’t label themselves. Who came up with the term “Goth” I wonder? Whether it was an actual Goth or someone mocking the Goth, there are now people who self-identify with the term. I don’t think it’s as simple as rejecting one archetype and automatically falling in with its opposite. I don’t believe in bi-polar opposites… good/evil, light/dark, etc. There are gradations in any label (neutral, gray…) and in order to actually conform to something, you either have to self-identify or fit the stereotype. I self-identify as Goth, but I don’t fit (m)any of the stereotypes. So does that make me a non-comformist Goth? Because I feel like a Goth, but people, even other Goths, might not see it. (Actually I took an online test and my classification is “happy Goth.” lol) It makes me wonder, how much to you have to be willing to fit the label and how much do people have to agree with the label for it to fit? Are you a nonconformist because you say you are or because others say you are? I think if people regularly use terms like “strange,” “weird,” or “unique perspective” to describe you, chances are you’re a nonconformist. lol So far as I know, there’s not a social group outside of insane asylums that accept strange, weird, or unique as their defining archetypes.
@harmony0stars -
I guess that I’ve just always been old. People use to tell me a lot that I had old eyes and therefore an old soul. I just figured that they had taken too much medication. Now, I’m beginning to wonder…
@Broom_Service - lol, can’t be worse than your own mother calling you grandma and asking if you’d like a rocking chair for your birthday.
@harmony0stars - I have a rocking chair. It was my grandmothers.
“The only choice you have is whether you take comfort in the association or not.”
I generally agree. Though I don’t agree that it follows that non agreement is equal to nonconformity. I think you would just be conforming to a different view, or even a non-view.
@Altered_Sight - It depends upon whether you can find a group that holds that opposite view. Just because you don’t buy into one idea, doesn’t mean you automatically go with the opposite. For instance, there are a plethora of religions to choose from. Very few could be considered the opposite of the other. If you are born into one and call yourself by that label, but don’t actually fit that label, then you might be considered a nonconformist in that belief system. If you reject it entirely without finding a replacement, then you could be atheist, agnostic, or spiritual, but until you actually figure out what you are or let someone else decide for you, you’re not conforming to anything. And if you happen to accept the label of spiritual, that’s one of the broadest belief “systems” anyone can belong to. Calling yourself spiritual is practically calling yourself agnostic, that is you believe there’s something but you don’t know what it is. It’s hard to conform to a system that doesn’t have any real definition/tenets.