December 5, 2003

• Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggg! Evil Xanga….and Topcities!

  
  

  For anyone who wanted to see the necro-worm thing I dreamed about the other night (just prior to this post for anyone who didn’t see the dream post), please try this link instead. I suspect that Topcities must have one of those “anti-theft” policies against direct linking to pictures or some kind of bandwidth issue so I made a small page instead which I hope will allow you to see the creepy-crawlies.

  
  

  I like to think that I remember my dreams because I want to. I want to be a professional writer and dreams are one of the best places to get ideas, soooo… even the scary ones are potential stories waiting to be born. I am quite greedy about my dreams. I wish I dreamed every night instead of an average of once or twice a week.

  
  

  That they follow a story-like continuity is something I attribute to my imagination. I expect that as I dream these dreams, they aren’t as fully formed as they are when I wake up. Somewhere between dreaming and the first few seconds of wakefulness, my subconscious fills in the plot holes. When I put them down on paper (er, on the screen), they’re a lot more homogenous than when I actually dreamed them. Which I imagine makes them a lot more entertaining to anyone who reads them.

  
  

  Just to be clear, I don’t make anything up and I don’t fill in details once I’m awake, but I have to admit my dreams aren’t normal by any stretch, so I came up with the above theory. heh

  
  

  I don’t know that I am really searching for myself (as per AshleyShea’s comment). I don’t really care to fit in anywhere, as SilverRavenKat can tell you. I am a complete non-conformist. Since my new job doesn’t care much about “dress-code” so long as it’s inoffensive, I’ve even been considering getting my hair dyed green! hehe I love green, and there’s already someone with green-tinted hair who works there.

  
  

  But I am trying to become a published author so maybe that is what all the not fitting in and money issues were about in the second dream. I just sent out a shortstory to Lindisfarne press the other day, and I haven’t heard back yet. I know these things take time, often a couple months, but given my track record with publishers, the longer it takes the less I am going to hope that I’ve actually been accepted. And if I am accepted, that will only make me more nervous. Keep reading… 

  
  

  My last publisher jerked me around till the day my book was supposed to be published, then had the nerve to say, “Duh, Didn’t you get my email?” He proceeded to tell me that his new investors had deemed my manuscript unsuitable for his market and even though my contract had almost a year left before it was up, maybe I should start looking for a new publisher.

  
  

  Anyone who’s hoping to get published, I know some people have had a good experience with my previous publisher, but I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone. So even if they should some how see this post and feel wronged, I don’t care. Everyone should stay away from MediumRareBooks because they are jerks . I hardly wrote anything but a few poems for almost two years because of them. And I certainly didn’t look for another publisher. Another blow like that to my ego, and I might’ve done something… hasty.

  
  

  But the thing is, I couldn’t do much about it because MRB is based in California while I am way over in Pennsylvania. Lindisfarne is in Washington. If they treat me like MRB did, there’s still nothing I can do about it. It’s all very depressing and nerve-racking. I don’t know if it’s better to be accepted and wait on being published or just flat out rejected. It would certainly cut out the anxiety-middleman and go straight to the pits.

  • 10:14 am
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