December 16, 2008

  • WCFQ 28d: Evolution


    (Warning: This is actually mostly a joke...)

    What's your theory on creation/evolution?
    Ezekiel36_33to36

    My theory of evolution goes something like this... we are not in fact descended from apes. We are more closely related to pigs... or there were some weird goings on among those early apes and pigs, but the less said about that, the better.

    My reasoning goes like this:

    Pig blood is the closest thing to human blood in the animal kingdom, and during the Vietnam war, pig intestines were used to replace veins and arteries destroyed by shrapnel. There have even been pig human hybrids created, or so they say, and the meat may have slipped into our food chain (maybe in a supermarket near you!). That could just be an urban legend of course, but here is one story about human-pig chimeras that might interest you. Really, if hybridization is possible between species, is eating the hybridized species such a good idea (or even ethical?!)

    The clincher for me though, is the fact that both humans and pigs like to root. They just love to make a mess, digging and rooting. Kids love to play in mud; adults love to root through bargains. I don't just say that because I work in retail (winkwink). Working in retail has just given me the opportunity to watch people and see how they act. Give a group of people a nicely arranged table. Come back a few minutes later and it will be a mess. Give a group of people a bin of miscellaneous items, and they are in "hog heaven" with their rooting.

    So based on these facts, both physical and anecdotal... I suggest to you all that humanity is more porcine than primate. Further more, we should stop eating pork. Just as efforts have been made to stop the peddling of "bush meat" (usually primate) from Africa, we should shun pork from here on out. We are "too closely related" to pigs and apes to continue eating our cousins. Only disease will come of it. Who knows but that our relation to pigs is not what the Jewish embargo on pork was originally all about. o.O

    Anyways... I'm done. lol
    December 16th

    The goddess of wisdom, Sapienta or Sophia, was honored with a feast today before the beginning of Saturnalia.



    This is the 1st day of Mechir, the day Ptah lifted up his hands.




Comments (13)

  • Oh. My. God.   I may never be able to eat pork again... and I really, really like bacon.  Ewwwwwwwwwww, I've been eating peoples!

    This reminded me of that scene in Willow where Bavmorda was like, "You're pigs!  You're all pigs!"

  • Ouch... I'm thinking that according to your theory I'm a cannibal... of sorts.

  • @heidenkind - lol I remember that scene! Now I feel the urge to watch Willow. Such a wonderful movie... really on par with Princess Bride. I'm surprised there aren't more people who quote Willow the way people quote TPB. I actually found a shirt for my brother with a "name tag sticker" decal that says: Hello, My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. I am the best gift giver.

    @Broom_Service - Maybe... it all depends upon whether we're actually related to pigs, which technically we're not, or so biologists would have us believe. Who knows how many hybrid pigs have made
    their way into the food chain. I heard a couple years back they "lost"
    a whole slew of them into the factory farms. People could have eaten
    them or still be eating their descendants.

    Personally, I think being related to apes is just more flattering to most people than being related to pigs, though pigs have been proven to be at least as intelligent as apes. Guess the apes just have better PR. Interestingly enough, I read a book on Vikings once which claimed that the Vikings had three forms of martial arts (not at all like Asian Martial Arts) modeled on the bear (berserkr), wolves, and the boar or pig. Bear warriors were lone fighters, wolves were scouts, and pigs fought in formation. Or maybe I have it reverse. It's been a long time since I read the book. In Europe at least, the pig got some respect. And seriously, if you saw a wild boar, I think you'd be too scared after to ever consider eating even a tame little strip of bacon! lol

    Of course, pork was one of the first meats I gave up on the road to vegetarianism. I never did like pork. It's all squishy with fat. I was very much addicted to bacon though. That took a while longer, but in the end, it was better for my health not to eat bacon because it's full of nitrates which contributed to my migraines. Really, I feel so much better since giving up processed meats.

  • @harmony0stars - What about cows?  If you take ancient legends seriously, there was a whoooooole bunch of interbreeding going on between humans and cows.  Maybe cows are even more closely related to us than pigs. *lifts one eyebrow* 

    I've been in the mood to watch Willow lately, too.  Maybe I'll watch it tomorrow.  The only movie I quote with any regularity is Pride & Prejudice, and most people don't realize I'm quoting a movie and just give me blank looks, so that kind of takes the fun out of it.

  • @heidenkind - Sorry... I'm not a big fan of Pride and Prejudice... I could never get into the period writing of Bronte, Austen, or DIckens. I know... it's such a sacrilege for a bibliophile to admit that! lol

    I don't know about the cow angle. I mean, people look a lot more like apes and pigs than cows. But on the other hand, it would explain the whole milk drinking thing... But then, why not bring goats into the mix. Lots more stories about goat-human hybrids (satyrs, fawns, imps) than cows or pigs, and goat milk is actually the closest thing to human milk you can drink. If you are lactose intolerant or your baby can't handle formula, goats milk is supposed to be the way to go.

  • Aw, you don't like Pride & Prejudice???  lol  That's okay; actually, I hate Dickens.  With a passion.

    That's true, there are a lot of goat-human hybrids.  I was thinking more along the lines of Pasiphae having sex with the bull and giving birth to the minotaur, and all the ancient cave paintings of bulls; but it really would not surprise me if there were goat-related cults in ancient times, too.

  • @harmony0stars - Pigs are suppose to be pretty clean creatures. I don't see why people would be more flattered to be related to apes.

    I couldn't give up my pork... not that we've been able to eat much here... my ma-in-law pretty much doesn't allow it in the house. Once we get moved I may eat a whole one.

    I hope those nasty migraines stay away for good! So says me! (I know... too much sugar in my Pepsi today... or too much Pepsi in my sugar. )

  • @Broom_Service - Too much blood in your caffeine stream?

    Well, I haven't had a really bad migraine in a while. I only had a handful this year, though many of them were stress/work related. One of the worst ones I had last year was because of my former boss. I probably shouldn't have driven home... Diet-wise, I haven't had a food related migraine in years though.

  • @harmony0stars - Yep. I'm trying to drink more water. I don't get a lot of Pepsi usually because my triglycerides are kind of up there. I haven't had much in the way of breads either because most contain soy and Sweetheart really doesn't have much room to make homemade. But, today I had a little more Pepsi than usual... we went out to eat in the big town and they just keep refilling. She asked me on the third one and I declined... they're pretty big glasses.

    My wish is that you are migraine free all of next year... and each year thereafter. 

  • @Broom_Service - Thanks I hope so too because that would most likely mean less stress all around. lol

  • Everywhere there's lots of piggies living piggy lives

    You can see them out for dinner with their piggy wives

    Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon.

  • @heidenkind - lol, I can't believe you quoted the Beatles! You are officially one of the coolest people I know. 

  • @harmony0stars -   Why thank you.

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