November 12, 2003

• Well, I’m still alive so the slug didn’t crawl out of the garbage and get me, but you know, they’re really slow, so it may take a couple of weeks for it to make it up from the garbage to my room. Because obviously you’ve heard the joke…

  
  

  One day a man was sitting on his sofa at home when he heard a knock at the door. He got up to see who it was but when he opened the door no one was there. Just as he was about to sit down he heard the knock again but when he got there again, there was no one at the door. He scratched his head, looked around for a second and looked down to see a tiny snail on the porch. He picked up the snail, threw it into a field across the street and headed back inside to watch television again.
  
  Ten Years Later: The same man is sitting on his sofa watching TV and hears a knock at the door. He gets up and goes to see who’s there and there is no one. He looks around for a second and just as he is about to close the door, he looks down and sees the snail who looks back up and says, “What the Hell was that all about!!?”

  
  

  *******

  
  

  I had a very tiny dream last night. At most it was odd, not really scary. There was a ghost attacking people. It would wrap itself around a person’s neck and give them head butts. Must have been a deceased pro-wrestler.

  
  

  Maybe the dream would have gone on, but my mother’s b-friend had to wake me up with his horrible guitar playing at 7:30 this morning. He told us yesterday he wouldn’t start this nonsense till around 11:00. He imagines himself to be a budding rockstar. Yeeahh, riiiight.

  
  

  I really wish I had the money to move out of here. I can’t stand him. He’s such a jerk. A couple months ago, I had to complain to my mom because he was walking around with his penis hanging out of his pants. Not once, but on a couple occassions.

  
  

  He’s a very touchy-feely guy too. While I am someone who does not like to be touched without permission. So what is he likely to do if he really wants to annoy me… wrestle. He’s a roofer, so he’s a lot stronger. The other night he grabbed me and got me in a head lock, and I could swear he groped me. He’s such an ass. I hate him. I refrain from telling my mother because she really didn’t seem to care about the penis episode, but if he does it again I really will break a chair over him like I threatened after he let me go. Of course he never does this stuff in front of her, and despite the fact that I was calling for her from the kitchen, she never came down.

  
  

  My mother occassionally remarks that he thinks I hate him… well duh! I may be a grown woman so it’s not like he’s doing this stuff to a kid, but he and my mom have been together long enough to be commonlaw so he’s practically my step-dad for all that he’s only a decade or so older than me. He has no idea how much I really loathe him. I wish he would shrivel up and blow away, or at least a certain part of his anatomy.

  
  

  I swear, men complain about women PMS but their hormones are worse by far. If I had some estrogen, I’d slip it into his food and maybe he’d be a more mellow person. I hate him, hate him, hate him.

  • 9:54 am
  • 2 Comments